After relentless harassment from voices in my head & not getting enough sleep that week at 8pm Saturday night I took a couple of Xanex & I am sad to admit it but also an overdose of GHB. My eyes rolled to the back of my head & i fell into darkness as my head touched the pillow.
Sadly i felt relief & calmness as I went unconscious in a matter of seconds instead of being worried as i went unconscious that i may have killed myself. Around 2 am whilst still in darkness i could hear the voices already beginning to annoy me again. Now awake, i wanted to go back to sleep till 9-10 am, do gym & drive down to Palm Springs. All Sunday the voices were relentless & wanted a thank you??? i finally managed to leave & had to return home because i had not packed my douche since i could not think properly all bloody day! A bottom without a douche??? Faaaaaarken hell...
I finally made it to Palm Springs around 10pm when everyone was going to bed & i didn't even have a pair of jeans with me, only the business attire that i had picked out during the week & a few items of gym clothing.
When i arrived in Palm Springs, just after 10pm Sunday night instead of making it there during the day liked expected. Upon arrival Patrick that worked for Titan, gave me TWO IMODIUM TABLETS & SAID "TAKE THESE BECAUSE YOUR BOTTOMING TOMORROW" That was the worst worst worst thing Patrick could have done to me. It meant the Medications i needed to take & their side effects were a massive problem. At 2am and 4am even taking 2xXanex tablets (equivalent to White Bars) both times had no effect! No sleep was had the entire night.
MY ADVICE!... TO BE A GOOD BOTTOM, FIRSTLY YOU MUST DOUCHE & THEN TAKE IMODIUM & THEN YOUR GOOD TO GO ALL DAY! BUT NEVER THE NIGHT BEFORE OR IF NOT DOUCHED FIRST OR IF NEEDING MUST HAVE MEDICATION TO WORK!
When i finally got to meet Dakota River (Please Click here) Monday morning as he arrived on set i had not slept one wink all night. I knew who Dakota was but I had never met him properly so i was so keen to finally meet & nervous too... He is almost my height... & grrrrrrr... i wish my shoulders were as wide as his!.. BUT hearing his masculine voice when he first said hello that morning i thought was HOT & put me at ease! We then giggled about fun times at white party & at that moment after such a troubled night I thought perhaps the day would go well... but unfortunately things for me did not go well after that moment & even worse it certainly made life difficult for Dakota that day as a consequence.
During the first scene which was a group scene (not the scene Dakota & I featured) the voices I was hearing in my head (mainly Karl Josef Silberbauer - Please click here for more information) started harassing me in my head & it caused me massive problems. My cock was flaccid & i was unable to get hard because of the unnecessary crap i was hearing in my head. I tried to hide it the best i could but Titan/Joe Gage/Brian Mills had to change scene plans since i could not perform & my eyes looked evil as i tried to tell voices to shut up so they avoided shooting me.
Could the day get any worse? How bad was I that day? Please read on.
