9. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL - DOCTORS DIAGNOSIS MYSELF AS SUFFERING A SEVERE DISORDER!

The doctors explained to me that i have onset Psychosis and irreversible schizophrenia.

Apparently I should have confused thinking, delusions, & hallucinations? Fantastic… except i am not!. Instead I am hearing voices loud and clear and they are boring the shit out of me! I am seriously jealous of Emily Rose (Please click here for more info)  Anneliese Michel's was her real name) as the voices she heard were evil & established individuals or so they said??? Although if i am thinking truthfully all her voices were afterlife fuckwitz that were beyond nasty!!! Mine are worse than wannabe industry people loving the sound of their own voices! (Please click here to hear some of voices i am hearing). THAT TAKES BEING NASTY when they are dealing with me TO A WHOLE further severe WORLD!!!

Trust me when i say i know what a drug induced state can cause & not cause that is how i know half of what is going on is something else!..& half of what is going on can't be explained by medical science I'm sure, thats why this is such a problem for me.... plus I gotta ask am i a patient or a test rabbit??… fuck I'm over drugs!....but at least i have not had any of these following drugs (listed below) on the dance floor like i have had everything else! LOL 

Firstly the doctors put me on:
2010 Risperidone

2010 Methadone (Stopped my body parts from moving after seizures)

2011 Benztropine

2012 Abilify (Aripiprazole) 10mg 
2013 Ability (Aripiprazole) 20mg

2013 Esitalo (Escitalopram) 20mg (Anti-depressant rather than Anti-psychotic)

2014 Ability (Aripiprazole) 30mg
2015 Zyprexa (Olanzapine) 5mg (You gain fat cells even if you lived on lettuce leaves)
2016 Zyprexa (Olanzapine) 10mg (Was effective in removing Hypnotics (Please click here for more information))

2017 Zyprexa (Olanzopine) 20mg

2018 Seroquel (Quetiapine) 100mg  (Massive weight gainer - Case Manager said her client gained 60kg/132pounds)

Seroquel (Quetiapine) is the worst offender of increasing the production of fat cells & after hearing from my Mental Health Case Manager that one of her patients gained 60 kilos (132.77 pounds) weight whilst on Seroquel (Quetiapine) so i only took that antipsychotic drug for a few weeks.  I am sorry but even if the drug worked & removed the voices in my head, i am shallow/vain i admit, but there is no way i could be happy with such excessive weight gain.

2018 Latuda (Lurasidone hydrochloride) 40mg  (Less weight gain)
2019 Latuda (Lurasidone hydrochloride) 40mg (Deadly if taken more than two doses)

2019 Rexulti (Brexpiprazole) 3mg

2019 Clozaril (Clozapine) (Must be administered in hospital only) 

 🏥  (Please click here for more information on start of treatment date) Due to severe chest pains caused by the Clozapine, the medication was terminated as Jock Hudson needed to be taken to the cardiac ward immediately for 3 days of observation. The Clozapine caused Myocarditis which can mean instant heart attack & death. 3 days in the cardiac ward before being allowed to leave & return to the Mental Health Ward as i narrowly escaped heart attack/failure. Sadly though i still had Myocarditis which meant several months of being constantly monitored. (For more information on how long Myocarditis stuck with me - Please click here) & for more information regarding the problem of hearing voices (Please click here).

To be honest i am not upset that the Clozaril (Clozapine) attempt to remove the voices in my failed due to almost having a heart attack & had to be terminated because i have since learnt that taking Clozaril (Clozapine) increases the production of fat cells more than taking Zyprexa (Olanzopine) which made me gain so much weight that i ended up having liposuction (Please click here for more information) to remove the unwanted extra fat/weight once i had stopped taking it. Even if you lived on Lettuce Leaves you cannot avoid gaining weight.

2019 Risperidone again (Small amount of weight gain)

2020 Geoden (Ziprisodone) 20mg (No weight gain)
2020 Geoden (Ziprisodone) 80mg

2020 Solian (Amisulpride) 200mg (No weight gain)
2020 Solian (Amisulpride) 400mg (Makes the voices lay dormant)

2022 Solian (Amisulpride) 800mg
2023 Solian (Amisulpride) 1200mg

This list doesn't include the drugs that i was prescribed to take that they have finally taken me off as they may have been what caused the damage in the first place!

Sustiva (efavirenz) 600mg as in Atripla Tablet.

I am not proud to admit i spent too many years off my tits at dance parties or getting hammered at home any & every day of the week to make cleaning the house more interesting (although if you find yourself cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush & unsure if its even yours or not you know you may have gone too far!) … & yes I have done more, yes more than my fair share of drugs…but makes a person self aware & it has given me in-depth knowledge of the entire alphabet of chemicals & all their side effects… so bloody hell i'd say i am well aware of what i should/shouldn't be feeling???

Thank you to djnikki08 for posting this song at Youtube.com. Please subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZmgZqMUhQPbTPhqj7xmj4Q