176. WHY DO I KEEP HAVING EPISODES? IT IS NOT FAIR!

It seems almost weekly i am having an episode. An episode is when the voices in my head have taken control & i am left screaming my head off. I cannot talk properly, I cannot swallow which means i cannot drink, eat or take anything, & the voices in my head i find so frustrating that i cannot do anything but scream. The worst part about not being able to swallow is that you choke. When i go to take my medications it makes it extremely hard to take. The voices like to play a game "Search & Destroy" (Please click here for more information) but an upgraded version wanting me to self harm (Please click here for more information) or even kill myself which makes no sense. The voices are meant to be in Heaven (Please click here for more information) but are seriously selfish & continue to "Harness" (Please click here for more information) my good feelings sensations. All the voices want to do is place "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) because they have learnt them & have unlimited time & nothing better to do but always with me on the receiving end. The voices have also started what they call the "Eating Game" although it should be called the "Not Eating Game". 

Basically when i am eating they make the food in my mouth go to the front so you cannot swallow, digest & eat the food & they do their best to stop me from chewing as well. I hate when they do this to me, it makes eating very frustrating if i can eat at all. The say it is is a challenging game & they have every right to play the game. But again it is simply because they have unlimited time & nothing better to do! My only option is to swallow whatever i have chewed, hence the no swallowing thing! I have had 495 episodes since 2009 when the voices started in my head. 

I am sick of having Episodes. How can i stop them? 

For more information & to know how bad they get, to read more please click the link below.

Sadly one of the last episodes i had since this blog date (As episodes generally happen weekly or if i am lucky enough & fortunate enough to have souls protect me then fortnightly) was almost one of the worst ones yet. They make it so that i cannot handle voices in my head although i hear voices in my head that are present without my permission which makes me scream my head off completely & i have no ability to stop screaming. I almost self harmed again (Please click here for more information) which i have not done in a long time. On the last few occasions that i have had an episode i have tried taking my medications & panadol since unable to swallow or drink i have been so dehydrated which causes headaches & an inability to sleep, but in attempting to take them i have choked so significantly that it scared me as i accidentally wet myself (urinated) it was so severe but then whilst sitting on the toilet i ended up doing a number two that made the women since they "Harness" (Please click here for more information) tingle which made them cheer & excited as they decided torture & causing harsh enough pain & suffering to myself will get me to do what they want me to do... NEVER! I do not do things under threat otherwise it means the same or worse treatment everytime they expect me to make them feel good.

The women did their best to torture me causing me pain in an order to make me make them feel good or to cause my death. They got "Jackpot" which is the winning sound or last thing you can achieve when playing "Search & Destroy" a game (Please click here for more information) where the main objective is to achieve my death which by making me unable to swallow permanently meant i would dehydrate & starve to death. Again these nasty selfish arrogant Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) cheered & got moist.

What is even worse is that since souls that have white light around them were shaking their heads & feeling hatred for these women giving me an episode & not giving off a good vibe, whereas the women giving me an episode since i had done a number two whilst sitting which was just a bodily function whilst on the toilet & made them tingle & they thought successfulness of their torture were cheering & giving off a good vibe since they get off on treating me like shit meant that the "White Light" or "Present" (Please click here for more information) got very confused & souls incorrectly passed on/reincarnated!!! Sadly i do believe we lost some "Global" souls (Souls that have loved ones or persons in every part of the world to watch over & spend the majority of their time watching over loved ones rather than getting involved in nasty Hypnotics (Please click here for more information)) or any of the bullshit (Please click here for more information) that generally the women have done). Not “Present” or the “White Lights” fault at all… entirely on the women’s head!!!

PLEASE I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE! 

I CANNOT EVEN TALK PROPERLY OUT LOUD COZ THE VOICES DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ME WHICH SADLY SCARES MY MUM AS SHE CANNOT UNDERSTAND ME. :(

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