34. FIGHT CLUB - ANOTHER REAL LIFE STORY OF SELF HARM FROM HEARING VOICES?

The truth? The REAL fights are NEVER seen.  A reality that is unlike any scene in the movie. I would definitely stop others if i could. Hearing voices that won't stop or listen to reason. Why didn't I win when i won the first fight/argument in my head? That was the round that should have counted the most! If said once then why do i then need to say it again? because it shouldn't be said anyway? or i said it the wrong way? Or i needed to say it a hundred times in a row in order to be heard just once???

On the 10/10/09 (although Pictures from 2009) because of self harming my Right hand swollen, knuckles bleeding, as the skin split from the swelling....unable to turn my neck without pain due to the force/impact from hitting against my right hand side.... upper neck damaged from side jolts. More than a week to recover from that episode. Its hard to accept that the voices & their behaviours are out of my control! Like the movie says "This is your life"....however it is not ending at one minute at a time ...it ended as soon as your head became a "GAME BOARD" (Please click here for more information). They know i feel and hear them

All those who love the movie & thought it imaginative & done by some creative writer.... ask yourself ....What is the movie really about? & where the story come from? A fella that found self harm as being an answer? I too struggle as self harm does bring a sense of relief or feeling like you have done your best to stop what is really going on?

And then there is "No response time"? 

Sorry i don't fear the unknown! 

But when your distracted enough by these sadistic voices then your ability to control your limbs becomes out of control. 

And then you fight even harder! 

Wanna know the answer on how to gain control? Please read on.

33•5. 2014 MARDI GRAS FUN & THE PAYBACK?

Last night went to Mardi Gras party & had one of the best times of my life & one of the few nights of true fun & happiness since reaching "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) in 2009 when i first started hearing voices & one of the few breaks i have had from hearing voices since White Party 2011 (Please click here for more information) & feeling an earthquake which stopped the voices (Please click here for more information).  I'll be honest & tell that i had taken one ecstasy pill & one dose of GBL (Gamma  Butyrolactone) & was totally off my face having fun. I heard the voices in my head had decided to keep Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) out of my head & they lay dormant to me & were amazed how shit faced they felt. They did not "Harness" (Please click here for more information). To put things in perspective back when i was a party boy (2000's) i would go through a pill every couple of hours & a vast about of K (Ketamine) & i had 8 dozes of GBL tonight ready expecting to party like old days, so only having one pill & one dose was super amazing. All i did was laugh, dance & do my best to ensure no one seen my eyes rolling in the back of head i was having that much fun! 

Only once during the night for a split second did i hear a voice in my head. 

The morning after I left the Mardi Gras Party my fun ended & on a beautiful sunny day perfect for fun at my favourite Beach (Please click here for more information) especially with tourists town!

Was having that much fun worth the payback? Please read on.