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If you have been reading this Blog Story then you will know that the voices in my head have been giving me "Episodes"(Please click here for more information) sometimes twice weekly which i can not handle. During an Episode i cannot speak properly or be understood & usually screaming my head off as they give me jaw stretches & painful neck twists which is just the start of it. The voices cannot hear me screaming because they are so selfish being in my head without my permission & do not want to hear me as it may stop them from doing them, hence why i cannot talk properly. It has been touch & go though, been close to having a episode, & almost was not able to swallow at all & choked, but mostly thank you to good souls & some no longer here anymore (Please click here for more information) that have been stopping the nasty souls from treating me badly. I think finally they have realised that playing "Games on my Head"(Please click here for more information) are not fun & are detrimental to anyone that plays them. There are some souls that just want to be nasty but hopefully they do care about themselves & will do nothing other than watch over me & lay dormant to reduce their bad karma & improve their destiny & fate. Sadly the voices are still "Harnessing"(Please click here for more information) so when i want to have fun i miss out. The main reason they harness is to feel good whilst treating me badly because they loose the "White Light"(Please click here for more information) & consequently feel uncomfortable. Surprisingly i have been wanting to have fun a lot more than usual which has not been successful but it has assisted in decreased episodes.
Is it me or some good souls above that have prevented me having Episodes for an entire month? Either way I am grateful!
It's hard to look & feel good when "Women voices"(Please click here for more information) are constantly calling you a selfish asshole or cunt because i am not focused on entertaining them or primarily making them feel good. If they are not treating me badly they spend their time trying to convince everyone that i am a selfish asshole? Why can't they allow me to feel good? I sadly am not happy with myself as i have gained weight from the "Medication" (Please click here for more information) & going to the gym is pointless as i cannot work out whilst i do not feel any "Endorphin Rush" (Please click here for more information) as the voices make it that they feel them while i feel nothing? What is the point of them feeling like they could climb Mount Everest (Feeling from Endorphin Rush) when they have unlimited time & do not have to push out the next set?
Its been at least 3 years since i have had sex with someone? I even have problems "masturbating"(Please click here for more information) as the voices do not leave me alone. One of the last attempts to have sex with someone was a disaster. The expression on my face showed pure pleasure & enjoyment written on my face, then as i tried to tell the voices in my head to shut up & fuck off, the expression on my face then looked like i was ready to kill someone which, as you can imagine, was very confusing for the guy i was playing with.The arrogance of the voices feeling they were more important wanting attention, with their unlimited time, rather than allowing me fun & fun for the person i was with?
Imagine the fun i could/would have if I did not hear voices?
