168. DRUG PROBLEM??? NOT POSSIBLE WITH VOICES IN MY HEAD!

2004

Seriously the only drug problem i have is that i do not have any that are fun & non-prescription (Please click here for more information). 

As you can see from photo (2004) i know how to get munted, but getting shit faced is not possible with voices in my head!

Would you believe, I'll be honest regarding the 2004 photo. When i was in New York i had bought Ecstasy tablets & then decided rather than fly to London since it was only May & University (Please click here for more information) did not start until September to fly to LA since my friend Cameron in photo had just moved to LA to hang out with him. He found two Ecstacy tablets in my sunglasses case that i had forgotten about. 

I told him those bloody things had no effect so i shoved one in his mouth & i took the other one.

As you can see in Photo they did have an effect. I'd had a couple whilst at the Roxy back in New York & did not think pills were any good!

2004 Pride Party West Hollywood, LA.

In regards to those pills I had forgotten what happened back in New York. Last night anywhere you have to go out & party...right??? I ended up out partying & taken to a Sex Club with a guy i met online only to realise that it was already 8am & I being cheap had booked a 9am Shuttle Bus from my Hotel to take me to the airport for my flight to LA. I ran outta club without saying good bye the guy that had taken me there, hurried back to Hotel & packed up with 5 minutes to spare before Shuttle Bus arrived so i called my friend Jonathan & so off my face got on the Bus, still on the phone, & rudely started telling Jonathan what the other people on the bus were like. I am guessing the Bus driving turned music on in the Bus to try & drown out my phone rudess... HOWEVER.. i thought the girl beside me had broke into song, so i gave her a filthy look because i thought she was so on herself & such a wanna be singing idol to dare start sing on a bus. Good thing i didnt tell her to get over herself. I ignored her & looked out window finally finishing my phone call. Then i thought actually now that i listen to her she is actually a very good singing & only when i wondered how did she do the music accompaniment to her singing. 

I realised the girl was not singing out loud but sat where the stereo speaker was on the Bus.

I arrived at New York Airport where the check in lady grabbed me by both arms & pulled me accross her desk to say in my ear "Honey, Honey Honey, where did you come from?" i answered why? She asked me if i had come from South Africa & had been on the "Whacky Weed?" I said no but admitted i really needed Xanex or Valium but did not want to miss my flight. Laughing the lady whom figured i was so wired figured i needed help & said show me where you are going to be sitting & i'll make sure you do not miss your flight.

Clearly i was so off my face that it showed!

Back to the voices being my problem. Please read on.

Main Problem!

If you have read Blog Story Post 164 (Please click here for more information) then you will know i am completely aware that the hundreds of women in my head that, to put it bluntly, treat me like shit are continuing to treat me like shit because they have done so for 3-11 years non stop. With Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) out of my head & no longer in heaven (Please click here for more information) i should have gotten my life back? These women that think they know me, & i have defended them by saying i have been home in Sydney (Please click here for more information) for more than 13 years & besides returning to University to complete a Juris Doctor (Please click here for more information) & Graduate Diploma of PLT (Please click here for more information) & College to complete a Diploma of Community Services (Please click here for more information) & get off my titts i have not accomplshed much. Therefore the women treat me worse than shit because they do not know any better?

The problem got worse? These women after realising that with level 5 Ora & being Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) that they have totally fucked up their destiny & fate & Karma so badly that they have now come to the decision that they will never ever pass on & never ever reincarnate! This means i am stuck with them in my head, no ability to make them see sense/reason or get them to pull away & exit my head space because i cannot make them leave or pass on/reincarnate & additionally they have hypnotics on their head (Please click here for more information). 

Yes it can get worse? They have also decided to treat me far worse than the shitty treatment they gave me for 3-8 years & if its is 10 times worse they will feel that during the last 3-8 years they have been nice to me rather than evil & treatment like shit which is an understatement? They then feel with "Thoughts" (Please click here for more information) which are far worse than hypnotics they can happily pass on/reincarnate? Makes no sense at all!

Cameron & Me 2007

How could it be worse? Over the past 3-8 years that these women have treated me like shit, & again that is an understatement to how they have treated me, whether it was initially Karl Josef Silbauers fault for teaching them to place a Hypnotic on me which harms me (testicular pain, head pain, back pain, eye pain) or if he taught them to physically harm me (testicular pain, head pain, back pain, eye pain) which either hypnotic or physical harm I CANNOT REMOVE OR UNDO, i can only hope that some soul, which i am thankful, removes it otherwise i am stuck with feeling harm which is unpleasant to say the least.  All these women have learnt to LOVE causing me harm & GET OFF on it. Hence why i cannot stop them even though Karl is no longer around. They are worse than Karl because these women act in packs of larger numbers that Karl could wish or dream were treating me like shit. They do not have voices in their head like me so have clear thinking & have creative minds that can work out ways to harm me hypnotically orphysically no matter what i do or what affirmative action anyone does to stop them.

Why such a massive problem? Since 2009 when i reached "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) & i let off a glow that on ISS LIVE NASA Satellite which meant i no longer needed a "White Lighter" (Please click here for more information) means i have not had NO voices in my head. With voices in my head firstly you need to understand they can hear every single thought which as a child you are taught no one will ever hear (Please click here for more information) & stopping yourself from thinking so they do not hear your voices means you cannot do anything at all. It is beyond invasive! Once you accept that they can hear every thought, every time they say just one word or enter your head & you cannot do anything but acknowledge them, YOU CANNOT THINK, YOU CANNOT TALK TO YOURSELF, YOU CANNOT SING IN YOUR HEAD LIKE SINGING IN THE SHOWER, YOU CANNOT CALM DOWN OR COUNT TO TEN TO CALM DOWN, YOU CANNOT CONTINUE OR DO WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO, YOU DO NOT HAVE LIFE!!!

Kieren & I 2008

Why do I need souls to understand? For me to even have 10 whole seconds to myself without voices in my head, i have to give myself a harsh nicorette overdose that causes a head rush that is so unpleasant that it take the focus of them, so i do still have voices in my head but i can convince myself with a head rush that is that unpleasant that i did get a break. In the last 14 almost 15 years the only times i have not heard voices, the voices have been "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) my normal Dopamine levels so i have been asleep & not enjoyed that time or about 7 years ago after an extremely unpleasant Christmas, the day after i overdosed on Zyprexa (Olanzapine) (Please click here for more information) & i got told i had a half hour break but seriously how could i enjoy the break being that bombed outta my brain overdosed on Zyprexa (Olanzapine)??? 

Why am i an Asshole? WELL FOR STARTERS I AM NOT, OR DO NOT THINK I AM AN ASSHOLE! I have white light (Please click here for more information) around me so the fact that all the women are saying that i am an asshole cannot actually be true now can it? Problem is that the large amount of numbers of women that have been calling me an asshole both in my head & behind my back means it has been said alot. The women figure if it is said that much then it must be true??? Faaaaaaaarken hell you cannot be serious???

Even totally off my head I am not stupid, & no I am not arrogant (Please click here for more information).