Question 1- Who do you think i am? Cookie Monster? or Grover?
Hint - Which one was Greedy & wanted more & more cookies? …& which one was trying to figure out life & only wanted fun? …which one always tried his best but always made a mess & then got left behind? …everyone always forgets about Grover? …did anyone ever go back & ask Grover R U ok?
Expert Question Test Question 2 - What is Agro-phobia? Hint - Aggression can make you blind to what is blue & possibly sequenced right in front of your face! Do you know who or what Agro is or being Agro is? Do you think you are a megastar? …or are you in actual fact a plain wombat? …or you have no idea how funny this question really is???
Still to this date…NOT ONE person has got either question correct… faaaaaaaaaaaaark! I had to change the hint to make it easier for people!
People its not that hard, its sad when people think they see everything but they see nothing at all.
What do you see in the pictures provided or did you immediately assume you knew the answers?
It featured on Frontiers in the Classifieds handout magazine found inside the paper. I was on the front cover and in the centrefold as well when it was released. Frontiers was a free newspaper distributed throughout Los angeles.
The following (Facebook Post) relates to another magazine article that I featured in and was published in the Canarias Spanish islands magazine and highlights the reason i got into porn in the first place!
From 11pm till around 4:30am in the morning a severe force pulled me backwards forcing me to land upside down backwards on top of my head! Not the back of my head but physically the top like gravity had been turned upside down. Each time i sat upright almost immediately i was forced backwards back onto my head. There was no way i could just lay back & stop trying to sit upright each time my head hit the wood floor every 5-10 seconds because my neck was bent so badly as the top of my head to hit the wood floor. My shoulder blades were lifted up off the floor in order for the top part of my head to hit each time. It’s a wonder my neck was not severely damaged or in fact broken each time i went backwards upside down on my head. i lost count how many times my head hit the wood floor it occurred that relentlessly. I wish i had a camera to record the incident to show how brutal it was & for doctors to explain. Basically Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) was in my head & jealous as hell of me & my life & thought he could pull my soul from my head & take over me. Like a exorcism needing exorcist!
IT WAS SCAREY, SHOCKING, HORRIFIC AND IT HURT!
IT WAS SO SEVERE AND NASTY IT WAS DEMONIC!
EMERGENCY SERVICES WAS DESPERATELY NEEDED!
I WISH I HAD A CAMERA RECORDING THIS EVENT TO PROVE WHAT HAPPENED!
I WAS HOME ALONE & IT LASTED FOR 4+ HOURS!
My apartment got trashed as i had tried to grab pillows off the lounge chair to place under the top of my head & in the frenzied panic the room got destroyed. Each time i tried to get up off my head i was pulled back upside down and my head banged on the floor repetitively. Luckily my neck and back not broken due to the position banging on the top of my head kept forcing me in as it continued for hours! It was demonic to say the least! I wish i had not been home alone that night.
Was someone (Karl Josef Silberbauer) or Jason Panza (the bloke that lived in apartment above me when I lived on North Croft Ave West Hollywood (Please click here to find out more information)) trying to take my soul from my head and replace it with his because they were jealous as hell of me and wanted to be me??? (To see why Please click the following Link for more information). I'm sick and tired of hearing a male voice (afterlife or real world-I don’t know) carrying on like a prema-donna "But the prostitute (me) downstairs owns a Rolex & more than 1"!!! Get over it C%*#!
I should have called emergency services (911) but instead I ended up calling Marc Wilcox? Why? Please read on.
At night i am hallucinating penguins everywhere just like the cute little Christmas Penguin beside my bed on the nightstand. (below in pic 1).
Voices told me what must be done to stop seeing them dancing! The last time i ever did what the voices asked. I cried none stop as I cut his head off… I cried even more taking photo (pic 1) to prove i had done what they asked… I loved that little penguin. Today however I found a penguin (Pic 2 with the Welcome sign) and I noticed under his little scarf hidden stitches holding his head back onto his neck? Sure he looks a little worse for wear and initially gave me a grumpy stare but OMG i think its him reborn again!
If he had gone happily
& peacefully in his last life..... rather than mutilated brutally by me, would he have
returned to this world in a better state? Not looking so hammered??? Still looks seriously cute but you gotta admit without his Welcome sign he looks seriously messed up! One thing I have learnt from this
experience is that if you truly love something then you need to let
it go, & if it returns back to you then it was yours, but if it doesn’t
then you still haven't learnt that it was never yours in the first place.
Apparently I should have confused thinking, delusions, & hallucinations? Fantastic… except i am not!. Instead I am hearing voices loud and clear and they are boring the shit out of me! I am seriously jealous of Emily Rose (Please click here for more info)AnnelieseMichel's (Exorcism or Exorcist) was her real name) as the voices she heard were evil & established individuals or so they said??? Although if i am thinking truthfully all her voices were afterlife fuckwitz that were beyond nasty!!! Mine are worse than wannabe industry people loving the sound of their own voices!(Please click here to hear some of voices i am hearing).THAT TAKES BEING NASTY when they are dealing with me TO A WHOLE further severe WORLD!!! Trust me when i say i know what a drug induced state can cause & not cause that is how i know half of what is going on is something else!..& half of what is going on can't be explained by medical science I'm sure, thats why this is such a problem for me.... plus I gotta ask am i a patient or a test rabbit??… fuck I'm over drugs!....but at least i have not had any of these following drugs (listed below) on the dance floor like i have had everything else! LOL Firstly the doctors put me on: 2010 Risperidone
2010 Methadone(Stopped my body parts from moving after seizures)
2018 Seroquel (Quetiapine) 100mg (Massive weight gainer - Case Manager said her client gained 60kg/132pounds)
Seroquel (Quetiapine)is the worst offender of increasing the production of fat cells & after hearing from my Mental Health Case Manager that one of her patients gained 60 kilos (132.77 pounds) weight whilst on Seroquel (Quetiapine)so i only took that antipsychotic drug for a few weeks. I am sorry but even if the drug worked & removed the voices in my head, i am shallow/vain i admit, but there is no way i could be happy with such excessive weight gain.
🏥 (Please click here for more information on start of treatment date) Due to severe chest pains caused by the Clozapine, the medication was terminated as Jock Hudson needed to be taken to the cardiac ward immediately for 3 days of observation. The Clozapine caused Myocarditis which can mean instant heart attack & death. 3 days in the cardiac ward before being allowed to leave & return to the Mental Health Ward as i narrowly escaped heart attack/failure. Sadly though i still had Myocarditis which meant several months of being constantly monitored. (For more information on how long Myocarditis stuck with me - Please click here) & for more information regarding the problem of hearing voices (Please click here).
To be honest i am not upset that the Clozaril (Clozapine) attempt to remove the voices in my failed due to almost having a heart attack & had to be terminated because i have since learnt that taking Clozaril (Clozapine) increases the production of fat cells more than taking Zyprexa (Olanzopine)which made me gain so much weight that i ended up having liposuction (Please click here for more information) to remove the unwanted extra fat/weight once i had stopped taking it. Even if you lived on Lettuce Leaves you cannot avoid gaining weight.
2019 Risperidone again (Small amount of weight gain)
This list doesn't include the drugs that i was prescribed to take that they have finally taken me off as they may have been what caused the damage in the first place!
Sustiva (efavirenz) 600mg as in Atripla Tablet. (In Australia when Sustiva was separate & only 300mg dose there was major health warning for patients alerting them it may cause Vivid dreams, HOWEVER i already had Vivid dreams so my dreaming turned to Lucid immediately upon first dose).
I am not proud to admit i spent too many years off my tits at dance parties or getting hammered at home any & every day of the week to make cleaning the house more interesting (although if you find yourself cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush & unsure if its even yours or not you know you may have gone too far!) … & yes I have done more, yes more than my fair share of drugs…but makes a person self aware & it has given me in-depth knowledge of the entire alphabet of chemicals & all their side effects… so bloody hell i'd say i am well aware of what i should/shouldn't be feeling???
The T-Shirt above (My favorite & so i purchased two of them) features Grover (One of my nicknames because i unintentionally make Grover sounds all day long) but who is he with? Similar height but he has a bigger nose, bigger build and nice smile! Sexy for sure! Tele-Monster is his name on Sesame Street. That is whom i am meant to be with. That is not that crazy is it?
Plus have you never based love prospects according to a Sesame Street song?
On Sesame Street
"A", "B", always finishes with "C"?
Doesn't it?
Well that is how the song goes. "Its as easy as ABC"
That's how easy love should be???
A hot bloke named Mark told me when chatting on "Manhunt" hook up website that his name finishes in "c" Marc? Marc Wilcox (Hard_novelty@bigmucle.com where he did say he liked hairy butts which i can accommodate but i wax it all off).
On "Manhunt" Marc with a "c" exchanged numbers & said he might hook up with me the following weekend at Pool Party in Palm Springs. Serioulsy if you had read his profile online i fit the bill. Almost exactly 10 years younger (Tick) tall (Tick), and possible red haired (Tick) (I was once labelled as being "Tawny" (Please click here for more information)) & he said he wanted someone that had brains so he could fuck them out (Tick) (Please click here for more information). Or maybe it should have started with capital "C" Craig? Craig Hibbard (Toughboy@bigmucle.com but he had in capital letters HIV NEGATIVE which does not work for me) or maybe I was wrong and it was neither to be & maybe i am ment to be with neither?
Yes it sounds crazy and Yes I know it sounds crazy PLUS if either of Marc Wilcox or Craig Hibbard were the slightest bit interested years ago when i first met them both & said the same thing twice as they made me nervous and I was new in town... they invited me to a party but i got too shy & nervous & never went... & needed to find out what the hell was going on with the guy i was with at the time, but sadly now i have yelled, screamed, harassed, texted, phoned, stalked, begged & pleaded that neither will speak with me face to face... so i get even more crazy...
Is there screaming in your head as well as out loud? What if it was you that was found screaming for the police?
After suffering a seizure, & screaming was heard, police were called & the street of Romaine between Croft & Alfred was closed while they investigated & the apartment searched. Jock Hudson was taken to Cedar Sinai Hospital emergency for observation before being released from Hospital 3 days later. CT of the brain was obtained. Examination consisted of thin section axial images from the skull to the vertex.
🌠Upon doctors instruction from Cedar Sinai Hospital ✡ Thank you. Jock Hudson moved residences the same afternoon he was released.🌟💫✨⭐
During the incident I had screamed so loud that I lost my voice & couldn’t speak properly for the 3 days in hospital & still had troubles speaking after being released.
What should you do if you know something is wrong but no-one seems to notice or is listening? Whoever the voices i was hearing in my head... didnt stop, i heard them claim later that they didnt recognise my voice since my voice was so strained, so they continued anyway. Those i thought i was hearing i never had a chance or never felt comfortable enough to approach so never got resolution as to involvement? What were the people that lived in the apartment above me & the landlord thinking & doing that day? What weird things were going on in the building? Was it their voices i was hearing in my head? Did i have mental telepathy? Or was it in fact the afterlife i was hearing in my head? What bible experience did i have?
Wanna hear about my bible experience? Please read on by clicking the link below.
I almost did not make it to Palm Springs Sunday before the shoot, which was when i was due to arrive & meet everyone for Mojave Run by Joe Gage (TitanMen) scheduled for Monday (19/04/10) - Thursday (23/04/10)!
After relentless harassment from voices in my head & not getting enough sleep that week at 8pm Saturday night I took a couple of Xanex & I am sad to admit it but also an overdose of GHB. My eyes rolled to the back of my head & i fell into darkness as my head touched the pillow.
Sadly i felt relief & calmness as I went unconscious in a matter of seconds instead of being worried as i went unconscious that i may have killed myself. Around 2 am whilst still in darkness i could hear the voices already beginning to annoy me again. Now awake, i wanted to go back to sleep till 9-10 am, do gym & drive down to Palm Springs. All Sunday the voices were relentless & wanted a thank you??? i finally managed to leave & had to return home because i had not packed my douche since i could not think properly all bloody day! A bottom without a douche??? Faaaaaarken hell...
I finally made it to Palm Springs around 10pm when everyone was going to bed & i didn't even have a pair of jeans with me, only the business attire that i had picked out during the week & a few items of gym clothing.
When i arrived in Palm Springs, just after 10pm Sunday night instead of making it there during the day liked expected. Upon arrival Patrick that worked for Titan, gave me TWO IMODIUM TABLETS & SAID "TAKE THESE BECAUSE YOUR BOTTOMING TOMORROW" That was the worst worst worst thing Patrick could have done to me. It meant the Medications i needed to take & their side effects were a massive problem. At 2am and 4am even taking 2xXanex tablets (equivalent to White Bars) both times had no effect! No sleep was had the entire night.
MY ADVICE!... TO BE A GOOD BOTTOM, FIRSTLY YOU MUST DOUCHE & THEN TAKE IMODIUM & THEN YOUR GOOD TO GO ALL DAY! BUT NEVER THE NIGHT BEFORE OR IF NOT DOUCHED FIRST OR IF NEEDING MUST HAVE MEDICATION TO WORK!
When i finally got to meet Dakota River (Please Click here)Monday morning as he arrived on set i had not slept one wink all night. I knew who Dakota was but I had never met him properly so i was so keen to finally meet & nervous too... He is almost my height... & grrrrrrr... i wish my shoulders were as wide as his!..BUT hearing his masculine voice when he first said hello that morning i thought was HOT & put me at ease! We then giggled about fun times at white party & at that moment after such a troubled night I thought perhaps the day would go well... but unfortunately things for me did not go well after that moment & even worse it certainly made life difficult for Dakota that day as a consequence.
During the first scene which was a group scene (not the scene Dakota & I featured) the voices I was hearing in my head (mainly Karl Josef Silberbauer - Please click here for more information) started harassing me in my head & it caused me massive problems. My cock was flaccid & i was unable to get hard because of the unnecessary crap i was hearing in my head. I tried to hide it the best i could but Titan/Joe Gage/Brian Mills had to change scene plans since i could not perform & my eyes looked evil as i tried to tell voices to shut up so they avoided shooting me.
Could the day get any worse? How bad was I that day? Please read on.
"What would you do if you came across a dirty great big brick wall that was in your way, stopping you, too big to climb over and too wide to go around... what would you do? What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
What would you do? What is your immediate first thought? Please answer this question before you read on. Please be honest?
Back when i was first asked this question (aged 21) unlike everyone else in the room who said they would somehow knock the wall down which is what i am guessing was your first thought???
"I honestly said the truth. I would just lean against it & enjoy a cigarette!"
But years later when i almost turned 32, & after discovering allot about life & doing my best to ensure the worst anyone could say about me i would already know.
"My answer had changed to the same as most people & my first thought was that I would think to knock that bloody wall down before you finished asking the question".
Coz i want nothing to stop me from seeing what tomorrow brings.
"Sadly now i may joke & say i'd pull down my pants & moon it, but the truth is now just the thought of being asked the wall question makes me feel ill & I try not to dry wrench!"
26/09/2024 Update: Sadly my first thought is not to knock it down & in order to not feel sick or like i wanna dry wrench when asked the question my thoughts are that i should turn my back to the wall & walk away from it.
"Get myself as far away from the wall as possible, ignore & turn my back to it, I don't wanna see it, especially so i don't feel ill. That is how you know i am telling the truth about my thoughts".
Why the question? Its part of a psych exam question.The wall believe it or not represents your feelings towards death & your answer reflects your love of life. Morbid it sounds, i know, but if your truthful with what you first thought, was it correct? If you have ever been suicidal then you would answer differently to having the first thought of knocking the wall down.
Did you answer the question at the beginning truthfully with the first thing that came to your mind? Back when i originally said i would just sit down & lean against the wall & enjoy a cigarette "The Truth is that Around that Time I almost Threw Myself off a Cliff & Killed Myself"(Please click here for more information). It was about 2-3 am when i stood there contemplating life & doing my head in before i finally decided to go home to bed because i figured i could kill myself another day. "Took me Ten Years to get over Suicidal Tendencies"(Please click here for more information). The only other people (which exist in the afterlife) that have come up with a different answer different to knocking the wall down sadly all committed suicide. "One answered he would take a piss on it, the others said they were confused by it & would want more information or to place their head against the wall to get a better sense of it". "One lady who committed suicide that is in the afterlife made me wet myself laughing when she said she could not tell anyone her answer because the wall instantly made her think of how dogs pee on the wall & made her think that was what she wanted to do". hehehe. LOL. Hmmmmmm.
I really dream I will think of the wall as being encouragement, & nothing to fear since it is surrounded by beautiful souls rather than just something that needs to be knocked down.
Psych Question 2:
(A Fun Psych Question)
Do you like coffee? Yes or No? & Why do you like coffee?
Again it has to be your very first thought? Your first answer?
The Coffee question is certainly allot more fun definitely. Message me and i'll give you the answer. LOL.(But please in the comment include your answer. I said YES, coz its social. My best bud Frank said YES, coz his is Italian, & a hot babe named Helen said YES, coz she loved the creamy froth on top! She laughed her head off when told what it meant & what it answers. X X X PLUS its amazing how that question ALWAYS works out right for the person. SMILE.
Photos from 2005/6 - Castle Howard Estate, York, North Yorkshire, England UK (When lived in London visiting friends).
