47. ORB EASILY SEEN IN THE PHOTO. JUST NEAR LA PAROUSE BEACH... HEAVEN? ON PRINCE OF WALES DRIVE :)

ALF shines his light to help me avoid the dark.

photo taken 2018

***If i never see the sun again and feel the wind on my face even tomorrow... everyone needs to know that im gonna be alright. 10 years from the 19th Jan 2019 i have been hearing voices and the fun before this started i was having got taken away from me. RUOK?***

Bright White Orb = High frequency protection! Some souls are trying to help me. Evident in the photo, taken on Prince of Wales Drive, La Parouse around 9-10am as the sun was rising.

For more information about "orbs" please click here!

Photo taken in 2013 but only discovered Protection Orb in Photo Blog Story Post Date

P.S "IMPORTANT" to my loved friends and all those i met out and about over the years that make me smile and anyone that has heard me even giggle or spent personal time to speak to me, I THANKYOU, for discovering how different i am...I now smile if you hear me giggle and i am sorry but giggles and laughter, it means i no longer feel pain! But sadly i fear they are outnumbered by evil souls that are telling, lies, are racist, and full of hatred!

46. WORKING OUT AT THE GYM! GETTING FIT SHOULD BE FUN? WHAT THE VOICES WILL DO TO STOP ME WORKING OUT.

Embarrassed to show this but today my stomach stuck out & stretched to the point it hurt & for almost an hour or more? 

Only when i gave it in and voices had stopped me from working out & I left the gym & back in my car did my swollen belly deflate? Can voices in your head do this to a person?

My stomach being this swollen (please see photos) made it difficult to lift weights & I was scared of getting a hernia which was more than likely to occur when bloated is an understatement! You can see the shitty unhappy look on my face... How could i be happy? I wanted to crank it out & feel good after yesterday & feel like I was doing something towards getting back in shape! The voices enjoy my endorphins while I get dizzy! Well no dizzier than usual I guess! But sadly not in a fun way! The voices "Harness" or "Obtain" or "Receive" or “Acquire” my endorphins which means i do not get to feel them but rather than feeling nothing at all the voices go to the effort of making me feel Reverse/Opposite endorphin rush so i feel headaches and nauseous each time i push out a set doing weights if i do attempt a gym workout.

The voices call my name, constantly criticise me, put me down, and annoy the shit out of me & do their best to stop me working out although today was a step further than that! Like it isn't hard enough? Why do the voices i hear get a kick outta doing this? So today was not fun. Plus seen no hot naked men in the change rooms like normal. GRIN Lol! (But they even steal my hard on & try embarrass me in the showers - Please click here for more info)

I guess i should just grit my teeth & workout if and when i can!

To read more please click the link below.

45. SHALLOW BREATHING? WILL I END UP IN A COMA?

The voices say "hearing my breathing offends them!" For over half an hour i felt the possibility i would fall into a coma or faint? It is not normal to breath that shallow for so long and feel like that in such a way! 


This morning after extreme harassment from the voices... i found myself breathing irregularly & the brains mechanism that i have that make me suck more oxygen if my body is not getting enough oxygen missing? A mechanism i have due to deviated septum that makes me shallow breath and not breath properly. Hence why i sound like Grover and make Grover from Sesame Street sounds because if i do not breath deeply enough my voice sounds funny. Then horrific pain in like never before. Voices say was pain at level 490! Then as i was breathing i started getting chest pains that made my breathing uncomfortable and hurt. I lay on the bed, hands starting to tingle slightly and my head aching... wondering if because of this shallow breathing and almost no breathing at all will a lack of oxygen to the brain cause more damage to my brain then occurring?

You took it all.. but i am still here! I'm Still Breathing! To read more please click link below.

44. FIRST AID TENT IN THE BACKGROUND A SIGN OF HELP REQUIRED PLEASE! GRIN :)

Photo taken 2007 - Before i started hearing voices 2009!

This photo was taken in 2007, before i started hearing voices, & life interrupted in 2009 when Jenny Rothschild & Karl Josef Silberbauer decided this time because i glowed to play their game on my head.

Hearing voices reduced all of the fun in life i should be having majorly. Help me if you can?

Only now looking back at it do i think damn i looked good. But now thinking I seriously need that first aid tent you can see in the background.

I'm gonna make my 40's better than my 30's which is my "Master Plan" that should be achievable but I should not be saying my "Master Plan"because it gives the voices a heads up as to what they will want me to fail & gain enjoyment from stopping any chance of succeeding.


I gotta try get myself back into shape & in a place that i feel good. Only when you feel good will you attract the right people... or is the problem wanting to attract people in the first place? Usually when your on the lookout to pick someone up its like insect repellant... everyone runs a mile away from you! Eeeeeek! Its when your not looking for anything you find it right in front of you. Please wish me luck! Everyone I know should really be on the run! :)


Thanks to London Recordings (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpDPOKeVLYSvIAtgmkwVAAA)

43. WTF IS THIS??? WHY??? A REVERSE HARD ON??? WHY??? BECAUSE A JEALOUS VOICE I HEAR HATES MY GUTS???

This is what a voice in my head (Blog 40 explains who - Please click here) does to me. He reakon's he is "God" and calls this a reverse hard on! How & why is this possible?

The voices i hear do this to me for some reason? When ever I am in the gym change rooms after a workout (Please click here for more info about gym workouts), when ever I meet a hot guy or at my favourite beach, when ever they want to laugh and make fun of me! Its embarrassing to say the least! They say I could never have been Jock Hudson (Alan Dowsett) a porn star?

Photo Taken 2015 to prove real cock size

Sorry but I do love to have a good wank or jerk off session but I CANNOT a lot of the time coz of this! THEY HAVE EVEN TAKEN AWAY THE ENJOYMENT OF A GOOD ORGASM.... MAN'S greatest enjoyment! gone? They harness my orgasm? (Please click here for more information). Seems like i cannot have any fun without them destroying my fun for amusement. it sucks & because Karl was jealous which i do not do (Please click here for more information).

The voices in my head are always playing nasty games on me.... when have i ever done nasty type games to them??? 

(Please click here for more info on Games) 

and as for frustration??? (Please click here for more information).

42. CAN YOU FIX MY HEAD PLEASE?

My name is Alan Dowsett, also known as Jock Hudson & all these pictures are of me!

Do you know who i am? Who am I pointing at in the picture?

Can you help fix my head please? Do I sound different out loud to how my inner child sounds in my head? The voices i hear say my soul is the age of 3 and a half years old.

I have asked nicely and politely as possible, I have screamed at the top of my lungs, I am sick and tired of asking voices in my head that are doing me harm!

Why do the voices i hear in my head think that they know what is best for me when they hear what they want about me and they never find out for themselves who I am first? It hurts like you would not believe and they say in my profession that we have the highest pain threshold out of any profession in the world!

41. SEIZURES RETURNING! WHY? DOCTORS CANNOT EXPLAIN?

Today while i was in class the voices made it so that i cannot think twice. This means, what ever you read you cannot comprehend as that would be thinking it twice. You cannot write because what ever you think of writing you cannot then remember to write! It sucks when they do this to me. I couldn't participate in the group activity that i was meant to be doing. Then from what was already bad to even worse.. in seconds, I fell backward off the chair making a horrible shriek & my body then spasmed uncontrolably on the floor. It reminded me of all those times in the past although this was not a bad one in comparison to some of those back then.

My wonderful teacher, Debbie (plus Matt another teacher who heard the shriek/noise, as the seizure occurred, from the staff room) were beside me the whole time... They calmed me down & to focus on them & breath in & out with them & I started regaining my ability to control my body parts & breath properly again!.

Is there an answer as to why this is happening? More seizures??? Please click below link to read on.

40•5. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME (AARON ROTHSCHILD) IN THE AFTERLIFE?

From what i know, Jenny Rothschild (my mum) spent almost eternity trying to find me. She looked at Auschwitz where my body was last seen but did not see me since Michael (Karl's eldest brother) had found me underneath all the dead bodies with tears rolling down my eyes & dragged me to the side of a building & propped me against the wall of the building & he tried to revive me. (Please click here for more information). Unfortunately he could not revive me & had no other choice but to put a bullet in my head to put me out of my misery. That was the end for Michael's mental health & who went insane & died of alcoholism. 

Emil Rothschild, (Please click here for more information) who is an original Daddy Ruxpin if ever i seen one & was Jenny Rothschild's cousin, but still my dad as Aaron Rothschild, when he was killed at Auschwitz he was killed in almost the same place i had been put out of my misery (Please click here for more information) & that is where i stayed rather than entering the afterlife. 

Before going into the afterlife Emil seen me against the wall & was drawn to me as I sat there in the "Living Dead" rather than the afterlife. I remained in what is called the "Living Dead", as i had completely shut down & no one but Emil knew i was there. From 1944 until 1976 Emil would visit me and sit with me. In 1976 i finally spoke to him and said in half German and half Hebrew do you know where my monkey is? (Please click here for more information regarding my monkey). He still did not say anything, i guess the tape in his belly or back was not working, naughty Teddy Ruxpin, but instead found Jenny.

Emil (Daddy Ruxpin) Rothschild was the one that bought me the monkey (Please click here for more information), with Jenny's dad's advice (Popsicle Rothschild), rather than buy me the largest teddy bear he could like everyone had already done to impress her, he decided to go with Popsicle Rothschild's advice & bought the monkey which Jenny liked & ended up the only toy I ever had. Emil suddenly realized i was his son that he had never met & immediately, as previously mentioned found Jenny Rothschild in the afterlife & told her & who went running to find me. Unaware she had reverse or something on her head she scared me so i ran straight into the light & was born to Kate (Please click here for more information) the second she approached me.

If Emil Rothschild is Daddy Ruxpin then who is telling this story? Please read on by clicking the link below.

40. WHO ARE THE VOICES THAT I AM HEARING? I WAS AARON ROTHSCHILD IN A PAST LIFE!?

Am I hearing people that have died & are in the afterlife?

Karl Joseph Silberbauer

I discovered and learnt that one of the voices I hear belongs to Karl Josef Silberbaur - Please click here for wikipedia link (right & left pics) (Please click here for more information). Born 21st June 1911 & died aged 61 years old in 1972 and escaped any conviction! There is no mention of how he died???...My theory is perhaps nature did us all a big favour because of his attitude & hatred towards jewish people especially little jewish kids which he considered the most useless of all! (Please click here to see how he attempts to steal my life). All the good times and fun experiences i have had in life he claims was him, telling everyone & then expects a thank you in the way of getting souls in the afterlife to do as he says! He hates my guts. (Please click here for a nasty example of things he does!)

Karl Joseph Silberbauer
15-16 years old
Not 12 years old

Karl Josef Silberbauer became well known from the raid on the Frank's secret annex & as an SS officer after leaving duties at Auschwitz was responsible for sending Anne Frank and her family to Auschwitz. Karl wanted the Jewish peoples money & is shitty he discarded her now famous diary. (View Anne Frank - (She was reincarnated back to life when her diary got published in English- Link)

Karl discovered that I (Alan Dowsett/Jock Hudson) was once Aaron Rothschild born 1940, son of Jenny Rothschild born 1920 & Father being her cousin Emil Rothschild (Please click here for more information). When i was 1-2 years old Jenny & I were sent to Lodz Ghetto in Poland. Jenny and Aaron were not meant to be on on a different train & not the train to Lodz but because of a misread telegram error at the train station they grabbed a lady & instead of a 1 to 2 year old they ended up getting another lady (Joanna Davis who did not want to go to Lodz) & her so called 12 year old son (15-16 year old) whom then escaped instead. It was actually like I said, it was Joanna Davis & Karl Josef Silberbauer. Hence how Joanna since she got on the double Decker electric train instead of Jenny Rothschild & myself, & ended up meeting Emil Rothschild (Jenny's Cousin as Mayer Rothschild insisted on her first child being that way & so was my dad & he & Joanna had a baby girl named Christie who was Karl's sister &, since Christie's dad was not Joanna's twin brother like Karl's, she was actually my half sister. Because of me is why they made Christie dress & pretend to be a boy (Supposedly me) so they could assume the real Jenny Rothschild's identity & money. Karl is shitty coz he seen none of the money.

Christie (as mentioned above) sadly got dumped into boarding school as soon as they arrived in America USA, & had the worst time imaginable. She was never allowed to come home for the holidays & spent most of her lifetime in boarding school, only when one of the school bullies came back to school early from holidays & found Christie there but with a noose around her neck standing on a chair did she realize the bullying had gone too far since USA had heard about the holocaust & she had survived. She then had friends. She was killed in a car accident when her head hit the dolphin wing/tail of a Porsche after hitting the bonnet & going over the top of the car. Poor girl did not stand a chance the Dolphin tail took her head off!

I WAS part of the Rothschild's family that founded the Banking Empire in Europe & unaware i was worth millions & millions of dollars, in fact more than they could image... Billions!  I was worth more than $50 Billion when I was born 1940! Apparently after i was born Jenny Rothschild (My mum) opened my account & transferred half the money from her account (The Bank Teller is in the afterlife & can prove this).

What happened at Lodz Ghetto & when I was at Auschwitz?

To read more please click ther link below.

39. FUCKEN VOICES - I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!

AM SOOOOOOO SICK OF HEARING VOICES OTHER THAN THOSE I WANT TO HEAR!!! LIFE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE LIKE THIS!!!

SOMETIMES THEY ARE SO LOUD I CANNOT HEAR THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME!!! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW FRUSTRATING THAT IS OR UNDERSTANDS WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH AND THE FUN THAT IT HAS TAKEN AWAY!!! 

I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I AM SICK OF PRETENDING THAT IM FINE!!! THEY KEEP BRINGING ME DOWN AND STOPPING ME FROM BEING WHO I AM MEANT TO BE!!!

THEY SHOULD BLOODY WELL LISTEN TO ME! IT IS MY FARKEN HEAD FOR HEAVENS SACK!

38. TATTOO'S TO HELP JOCK HUDSON GET BACK ON THE RIGHT ROAD.

For the meanings of existing tattoos please click here

 

Now the tattoo(s) across chest features the Pagan Symbol pictured below

On shoulder another Pagan Symbol that means stay away evil

PLUS I'm trying to ink a "V" torso back onto my body! Lol

For more information on new tattoos that i want please read on