206. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

"Well its Birthday time again" (Please click here for more information). Its not the big 50 yet, this year only 49 years old. Even on my birthday the voices in my head refuse to make it a day for me with no hassles & me getting the full effect of trying to "Get off my face" (Please click here for more information) but nope the voices are as selfish & arrogant as usual (Please click here for more information) & although when attempting to get off my face they Harness as they refuse to miss out. Even complaining makes the voices feel they have every right to give me an "Episode" (Please click here for more information) because i am not focused on making them feel good or entertaining them which i cannot do when i cannot think... plus why should i when they do not even speak respectfully to me (Please click here for more information) whilst in my head without my permission. My time is limited & they could lay dormant & allow me fun.

Photo January 2026

You would think being my birthday the voices would be good to me?

All the voices want to do is antagonise!(Please click here for more information). 

Happy Birthday???

  

205. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

I hope 2026 will be a good year?

"Past Years" (Please click here for more information) I am sad to say again have been dictated by the voices in my head which i dream changes?

"My Dreams" (Please click here for more information) seem to get further away from being a reality. The move with my family from "The Shire" (Oyster Bay) to the Western Suburbs (Please click here for more information) was less painful than expected & was best chance of escaping the voices but was an epic fail! 

"Current Medications" (Please click here for more information) should mean I am doing better & thinking more positively about what i can achieve & the successfulness of this new year but is difficult considering having had several "Episodes" (Please click here for more information) during this past December.

It is hard to have fun when the voices cause grief & treat me badly!

I just watched the fireworks on TV with a few friends.

204. WHAT CAN I DO WHEN THE VOICES ARE ANTAGONISING ME???

Thank you to "Dreamtime" for this image.

My Case Manager says i should do Mindfulness??? My mum says put on some music with head phones??? But the problem which only another schizophrenic would understand is that i hear them not with my ears but inside my head which means none of these suggested ideas work??? Any suggestions??? Medicate???

"Self harm" (Please click here for more information) is definitely out of the question. If i am lacking sleep i should be very chilled & laid back but this is when the "Women" (Please click here for more information) take advantage as it is easier for them to antagonise me so i get revved up and pissed off!!! 

What can i do?  

PLEASE leave any suggestions on what i can do???

The women in my head, (Please click here for more information) if not antaganising me, still spend their time trying to convince others that i am the biggest asshole or a selfish cunt (Please click here to learn what these "Women" expect) or anything they can think up that is negative so they can continue to do "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) & to treat me badly & get off on doing so! They just dont realise they would feel better with white light around them as they would tingle the whole time. Therefore my "Problem(s)" (Please click here for more information) worsen rather than improve? The Women give themselves point scores for treating me badly & attempt to do things that cause damage or takes time to heal to get a point score that continues as i heal from the harm. They refuse to leave my head because if they did then they would not be able to regaine entry & i would no longer be Schizophrenic! They are in my head because i make them feel good when they do not have "White Light" (Please click here for more information) & therefore remain, due to "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) & doing the wrong thing, with level 5 (Worst Ora possible) which they do not seem to care about? Having such a bad Ora cannot be healthy??? If by chance I can think or amuse myself, they pretend it was them that said/did what made me laugh/smile to continue to bring me down! 

Here is music i like to get me going.

Please listen to the following song.

Thank you to the clock for producing this song on Youtube.com by placed by 

Dr. Marcelo Ribeiro - Revivendo Clássicos

Please click this link to subscribe.

203. THANK YOU TO THE GOOD, GOOD, GOOD VOICES IN MY HEAD!

 

Thanks"Dreamstime" for the monsters (Pauline).

If Only Fun Monsters???

There are some good good good souls i do not say "THANK YOU" enough for their help. For fun i have pictured some, this time not as "Orange Monsters" (Please click here for more information) like last time or in another attempt to say "THANK YOU" to the good voices i hear as "Sesame Street Characters" (Please click here for more information), although my Doctor would say "Do not engage?" but instead i have decided to represent them as fun Purple Monsters. They stop me from having "Episodes" (Please click here for more information) & assist with the only ability i have which is to somehow make those doing hypnotics & mistreating me see sense? 

I am scared to mention names, or the fun nicknames i have given them in fear of them getting bad treatment. It seems the more they try & help which i need the help means good souls are also in the firing line & end up harmed or treated badly as well. That should not be the case & i hope they remain being a great help & focused on helping me they tingle & do not loose the "White Light" (Please click here for more information) around themselves. Luckily "Present" (Please click here for more information) does reward them by making them glow & feel good

I will give thanks to Polly (Pauline - top right monster with colourful horns) & Dreamy (Benjamin - Left hand Monster) who always remove bad hypnotics & Dreamer (Sally monster second from the left hand side,) who do the right thing by me. Sadly due to be harassed by the "Women" (Please click here for more information) for doing the right thing & he decided to reincarnate March 2026 & is no longer with us. We miss him but know he is doing well.

Another mention needs to go to the Lady i nicknamed Miss Ferrari Testarossa (Sarah) whom i am grateful because of her pleasantness & helpfulness pictured above 3rd from left as Light purple monster. Also Thanks to Miss Sassy (Pictured with Heart saying "ASSHOLE") because the first time i heard her she said that attempting to be funny except i totally cunted her before realising she was joking... she has been her weight in gold. 

Also Thank You to Sam/Samuel who wants to be heard for the good work he does, pictured as one eyed monster with Megaphone, because he does not like it when he is not heard, but who helps more than I realize & I should be more grateful to him however his love of Hypnotics does get him into trouble especially when he wants me to be involved with intention of making me laugh. He has a new mate named Roy or should i say Monster, as pictured, who helps in his own way & 

when good things are happening for me it mostly due to those fellas mentioned.

All those i should thank prefer to hear me laughing rather than crying!

There are more good souls, not mentioned, deserving a Thank You!

Thank you to Dana Dawson for singing this song "Got to Give Me Love" & posting on Youtube

To subscribe Please click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@davebaker5

202. I MAY NOT LOOK IT... BUT I AM FEELING BLUE?

Photo 01/09/2025

Although the photo does not show, i am blue. Yep sad & depressed. Still waiting to be appointed as a "Lawyer" (Please click here for more information). I wanna get in shape after the new "Medication" (Please click here for more information) increased my hunger & instead of weighing 92-94kg i weigh over 100kg but every time i workout the voices give me problems & will not allow me to have motivation & drive or feel my "Endorphin rushes" (Please click here for more information). What is the point of souls feeling my endorphin rushes when they are not the ones that have to lift weights to failure. A few weeks back because of some amazing souls enabled me to feel, what i call, the "I can climb Mount Everest" rush so i did a major Bicep & Tricep workout & gave off a good vibe as i destroyed the muscles to get them bigger & with my muscle memory from being a gym junkie in the past meant they felt huge. No pain no gain was true. 

"My Master Plan" (Please click the following link to see my master plan) has not been achieved & I only have a few more years to succeed. Sadly tonight (Sunday) the voices gave me another "Episode" (Please click here for more information). 

Rather than being active why can't the voices lay dormant? it is their best interest to only allow themsleves to do that as it means no bad Karma & I would not even know that they were there! 

Good feelings stolen???

Thank you to Scott Mac for producing this song and Trance Classics for posting at Youtube.com. 

To subscribe click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@TranceClassicsOfficial 

201. MEET WRINKLES THE DOG!

Meet Wrinkles the dog. Puppy Pound Number: 8026430. What is different about Wrinkles the dog is that he shares love by giving people evils? Basically when he is happy he gives nasty looks at those wanting his attention. Not because he is unhappy as he has Snoopy & feels that he is in a dog pack. With those red eyes he gives completely evil nasty stares that do make you think you need to check yourself or wonder what you did wrong to deserve those looks from him...But like i said that is his way of sharing the love. In the photos below he does not look like he is giving evil looks but i think that was because he did not like his photo being taken? Wanna know how i feel about having a dogs life then please click this link. I'd be happy i think if i were a dog. 

Do not you be giving me no evils? 

"Hate is not a creative force: Only love creates" 

Quote by St. Maximilian Kolbe (Please click here for more information regarding him)

200. TATTOO DESIGN FOR A MAN WITH THE INITIALS M.D?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

199. REVAMPING JOCK HUDSONS TATTOOS - ITS TIME FOR AS CHANGE!

Revamp Inspired by Ben Volt Tattoo Designs. 

To view more Ben Volt Tattoo Designs please click here.

Tattoo Designs by Ben Volt.

Luckily i have met an outstanding brilliant tattoo artist named Marty Creak (Ocean Ink - Miranda. Please click here for more information) that listens to what i want & although i LOVE what he did (Please click here for more information to see additions that were done well by him) i have decided I'd rather have something bold & abstract. 

I have never liked the big thing on my shoulder as it was not what i wanted & the tattoo artist would not listen to what i wanted & I was too busy being nervous & concerned about the pain level to stop him from doing what he wanted rather than what i wanted unlike Marty. I was even tempted to try Tattoo laser removal. If i blacken out what is on my Shoulder then being abstract i can say it a Superman Symbol. Plus will make my shoulders look bigger (Please click here to see original of what i wanted).

The original black strip down my abdomen boarded with straight lines is meant to signafiy a road & remind people to read between the lines but its straight with no bends, & no way to change directions & boarded by flatlines, which is not really what my life is about. The black beside it going up to my armpit would signify a road without boundaries & widens as it gets to the top as you learn more & more as you travel down any road. Also finishing in my armpit where you sweat the most reminds me that not all roads are easy & some are hard work. The possible additional strips (Similar to what Ben Volt did in second photo above) on arm/bicep/tricep would signify military lines/double strip like a Sargeant meaning i can follow orders & do my best to care for those that not as well off as me. Also in photo far right the added strip which matches the road, means i need to show discipline not matter what road i am on, small or big. 

The changes simplifies & makes tattoo abstract & means i can read anything into what i want the shapes to be as written above. I should have gone with my own designs in the first place rather than Pagan Symbols that anyone else could have. If you click the following link you see what i mean about why you sould create your own symbols & design.I am keeping one Pagan Symbol on chest meaning "Those who seek to harm me & my loved ones have their intent turned back upon themselves!" 

What do you think? Please leave a comment?

198•5. REMEMBERING PORN STAR HOTTIE, ADAM FAUST.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

198. MOVED OUT OF THE SUTHERLAND SHIRE (OYSTER BAY) & MOVED TO WESTERN SUBURBS! ESCAPED FROM THE VOICES???

The new smaller home

My parents have downsized the Shire (Oyster Bay) family home i grew up in to a new much smaller property in the Western Suburbs (Glenmore Park) to be nearer to my sister & I am have moved with them.

Escaped voices???

Basically It should have been similar to faking my own death (Moving house)???

When i drive through "WestConnex" underground tunnel which is the quickest way to go into the city the voices think i have placed Hypnotics & the Tunnels are not real. They have not even noticed the move???

Thank you to Red Carpet for producing this song & Jenelle for posting it on Youtube.com. 

To subscribe please click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@xCasaMia

197. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT... A ENTIRE MONTH WITHOUT AN EPISODE?

If you have been reading this Blog Story then you will know that the voices in my head have been giving me "Episodes" (Please click here for more information) sometimes twice weekly which i can not handle. During an Episode i cannot speak properly or be understood & usually screaming my head off as they give me jaw stretches & painful neck twists which is just the start of it. It has been touch & go though, been close to having a episode, & almost was not able to swallow at all & choked. Thank you to good souls (Please click here for more information) that stop nasty souls from treating me badly. Sadly the voices are still "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) so when i want to have fun i miss out. The main reason they harness is to feel good because they loose the "White Light" (Please click here for more information) around them because of how they treat me & consequently feel uncomfortable. 

Is it me or some good souls above that have prevented me having Episodes for an entire month? Either way I am grateful! 

I'm so happy i could cry! 

I pray no more episodes continues?

Thanks to Commander Tom for producing this song & Raffi3o3 for posting at Youtube.com. 

Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@raffi3o3  

196. FOXY LOXY SAYS "GET YA MOJO BACK?"

Its been at least 3 years since i have had sex with someone? I even have problems "masturbating" (Please click here for more information) as the voices do not leave me alone. One of the last attempts to have sex with someone was a disaster. The expression on my face showed pure pleasure & enjoyment written on my face, then as i tried to tell the voices in my head to shut up & fuck off, the expression on my face then looked like i was ready to kill someone which, as you can imagine, was very confusing for the guy i was playing with.The arrogance of the voices feeling they were more important wanting attention, with their unlimited time, rather than allowing me fun & fun for the person i was with?

Imagine the Fun if i did not hear voices?

Foxy Loxy showing how to bust a move?

How to be Foxy? How to show off a hairy crack? 

It's not a party if there is no crack?

I need my Mojo back?

The "Women" I hear in my head would rather give me an "Episode" (Please click here for more information) than have that happen?

How can i when i cannot go to the gym? 

(Please click here for more information).

Thanks to Motorcycle for this song posted at Youtube.com To subscribe to Beat Lounge 

please click following link: https://www.youtube.com/@BeatLounge 

195. WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD LUCK TROLLS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?

I need please Good Luck Trolls instead of the large amount of "Hypnotic Whores" (Please click here to find out what a Hypnotic Whore is & how they turned Heaven into Gang Bang City) that keep treating me badly & disrespectfully simply because they have done it for so long (Please click here for more information) & have unlimited time & nothing better to do or get off on the challenge of breaking me. There seems to be an endless supply of stupidity & nastinest! They can see my "White Light" (Please click here for more information why white light is so important) which proves i do my best not to be an asshole & makes them an insult to the intelligence & I do not deserve to be given "Episodes" (Please click here for more information to understand how bad episodes can get) like they did again last Sunday night.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, some "Ladies" (Not women (Please click here for more information explaining my dislike for them)) have finally realised i was not an asshole & now these "Ladies" are doing their best to rectify the situation & help me as i need helping & to stop women treating me like shit & being disrespectful/rude/vulgar for a quick rush! 

Good Luck Troll??? 

Nah... fuck my face doll???

How do i get the women in my head to stop Harnessing? (Please click here for more information & to learn what harnessing is) or whatever they have spent their time renaming/redefining "Harnessing" to continue the bad karma practise no matter what is done to try & stop them which is in their best interest? If they spent half the time getting everyone to lay dormant rather than "Harness" then both them & I would be having more than 100% good times! No one would loose.

What do these women expect from me? Please read on.

194. WHAT HAPPENED TO ROWLF THE WONDERFUL DOG? I MISS ROWLF!

What a wonderful dog was Rowlf. Why didn't he feature in the latest Muppet Movie? He was in the original Muppet Movie, he sung to a broken down Kermit the Frog "I Hope Something Better comes along"! He was a great piano player & singer! He even sung about "Pie"! FANTASTIC! Best dog a friend could have (Please click here for more information of why I would be happy being a dog).

Thank you Jim Henson for creating an amazing

Dog named Rowlf! 

Thank you to Dorcm1973 for posting this at Youtube.com. 

Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@dorcm1973 

193. BOTH STEPHANO MONKEY & PAPA RICK REINCARNATED TOGETHER!

Plush Toys coming to life???

I knew the couple by names of "Stefano Monkey" & "Papa Rick" because both Stephano & Rick used to connect their souls up to my Pyjama Monkey (a monkey that comes alive when you store your pyjamas inside of him when your not wearing them) & Papa Smurf (Please click here for more information & to find out what happened to them both when they were naughty).  

Now they have gone. When i was stressed or not coping with things i used to grab my thumbs (just like when i was Aaron Rothschild & since i was so young & small used to grab Stephano's thumb rather than hold his hand) & they would sense i was in trouble & help me deal with things. Now i cannot do this. Also when i was Aaron Rothschild when Stefano hid me out in the Cemetery so to not be taken by authorities whilst at Lodz Ghetto i had my face pressed against his since it was warm & we were out in the snow. Jenny Rothschild (Please click here for more information) could not find us & Stephano could not hear her calling out for us as i had stuck my finger in his ear in order to hold on to him & his warmth. With Rick when i was in the Afterlife the first time (Please click here for more information) when i was not watching over people i would sit quietly cuddled up in his lap & head on his leg whilst he 

talked to Cleopatra (Please click here for more information).

The above mentioned memories, since in my memory bank from past lives, means i was able to connect, sense, feel, talk & hear them both. I can no longer connect with them, as by choice, they reincarnated together.

In their new lives both Stephano & Ricks were placed well as their mums are best friends from School so they will definitely re-unite in their new lives. When i watch over them when i die i will see if they are best friends, BF''s, married, with/without kids etc which keeps me from crying thinking about how i can no longer connect with them.  I am scared that some soul who shows hatred towards me will kill them both which is what happened the last time they both reincarnated together. Died of SIDS (Sudden Instant Death Syndrome) because of souls doing the wrong thing in the "Afterlife" or to be correct "Heaven" (Please click here for more information). Talk about nasty, sad & unfair. I am doing my best to deal without them.

Wanna know what song Stefano sang to me before he reincarnated? Please read on.

192•5. REMEMBERING HOT MEN - WILFRIED KNIGHT (PORN STAR) & JERRY ENRIQUEZ (HUSBAND)!

Wilfried Knight a French born (February 19th 1975) Porn Star with Lucas Entertainment, Raging Stallion & Falcon killed himself on this day 5th of March year 2013, after his husband Jerry Enriquez committed suicide 2 weeks prior to Wilfried ending his life. They were married in Canada 2011 where marriage was legal but sadly had difficulties having their marriage recognised in the USA & sadly faced leaving each other, which they definitely did not want, since unable to live together in the USA. They killed themselves in order to be together rather than be apart like USA wanted.

Wilfried, like myself & sorry for sounding arrogant was extremely intelligent & studied & graduated in Law (Please click here for more information) from University in France. He additionally continued studies at University in Belgium & Greece.

The United Kingdom acknowledge same sex Marriage by introducing "Commitment Ceremony" for same sex couples & has same legal rights as Marriage in 2006. Australia should have followed suite & having studied "Constitution Law" (Please click here for more information) which means Queen has ultimate power & can make Acts in motion or even if a referendum & laws pass through parliament the Queen can say no & the Act scrapped! Yes she has that much power & if she said we having it then the Act just has to be written. What Australia should have done was grab the Queens attention which easily done if every float in the Sydney Mardi Gras did something to grab her attention. Mardi Gras parade was built on a protest rally to gain equality for homosexuals. The Queen just has to say the word & Same sex marriage is enacted. For example Dykes on bikes having Queen Elizabeth masks & the indigenous float having the Queen ride their serpent, & the dancing boys wearing Tiaras. Same Sex Marriage could have been introduced 2006/2007 but was not introduced in Australia until 2017 (Please click here for more information).

I am sure both hotties are watching down from above & happily still in love.

Their love will live on forever!

192. DOGS KNOW HOW TO HAVE A FUN TIME! MARDI GRAS THIS WEEKEND, HOPEFULLY THE VOICES IN MY HEAD WILL LET ME HAVE FUN TOO!

If i was a dog (Please click here for Blog Story 94.) then could I have fun?

So how was Mardi Gras?  I did my best, "tried to get off my face" (Please click here for Blog Story 168.) because, although it's not for everyone & sober living is best, i knew if i got the effect that i should get then it would be fun. Sadly the voices "harnessed" (Please click here for Blog Story 97.) or as they are now doing robbing me of an increased effect that I produce which made me feel like shit & all i wanted to do was lay down. You would think that since the women in my head gave me an "Episode last week" (Please click here for Blog Story 176.) that being Mardi Gras they should let me have fun. Still like a trooper i managed to get out & have a dance with once voice in my head that was just getting off on a quick rush by calling me an "Asshole" or "Selfish Asshole" or "Cunt" (Please click here for Blog Story 76.) with vengeance & giving me attitude. If i had a dollar for every time someone has said in my head, which they have no permission to enter, a nasty name or a show of disrespectfulness, i'b be a Billionaire 

I bought new dancing shoes & everything!

BUT... No fun with a frown on my face? 

Voices won't stop harassing me & it becomes too difficult to have fun? 

They will not relent, so i went home & slept rather than bring everyone else down & ruin their night.  

Happy Mardi Gras everyone!

191. I AM NOW A LAWYER! YIPEEE! NO LONGER ONLY A SOLICITOR!

Well after doing my "PLT" (Please click here for more information) with UNSW & doing volunteer work as a Solicitor at HALC (HIV & AIDS Legal Centre) & volunteer work at KLC (Kingsford Legal Centre) after starting April 2024 but had to stop in August (Please click here for more information). of that year due to mental health condition so bad it forced me to stop... I have now, after returning to KLC this January & February, I have done enough volunteer work as a Solicitor that means I can also finish with doing my PLT & be admitted to the Bar also since i have done Juris Doctor (Please click here for more information).

HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT WORKS AT KLC, I CANNOT THANK THEM ENOUGH! 

EXTRA THANK YOU TO FIONA DUANE & RACHEL GREGORY FOR GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ASSIST ME, WHICH IS NOT EASY GIVEN MY MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS!

I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW AMAZING THEY ALL ARE!

No longer just a Solicitor, that cannot represent clients in court??? 

Just some paperwork & ceremony at the court to be sworn to the Bar is all needed & its official!

Now a Lawyer???

190. DUCK MARATHON - SOMETHING THAT CHEERS ME UP WATCHING - YOU GOTTA WATCH THIS! I LOOOVE THIS!

I love this! 

Where are all these ducks going? 

Do they go running down the middle of suburbia every afternoon?

How do cars drive up the street?

First one to the duck pond wins? 

Does this marathon occur everyday?

Please leave in the comments if you know where they are going?

Posting Thanks to Regan Appel. Please subscribe at https://www.youtube.com/@reganappel6271 

189. BACK IN HOSPITAL AGAIN!

Not the good start to the year like i was hoping! The voices were “Harnessing” (Please click here for more information) everything again or automated harnessing which I cannot stop plus even worse they were playing a “Game” (Please click here for more information) but a more elevated version with nastiness at its worst. I had no way of sleeping, valium did not do the trick because they were harnessing. How do  I get a break? The new "Medication" (Please click here for more information) should be working but voices have deliberately stayed in my head to try & make it Treatment Resistant Schizophrenia. Anyways I needed a break & consequently i took too many Zyprexa (Olanzapine) Tablets.

Doctors were worried about my heart & irregular heart beats so i got hospitalised Wednesday 8th January. 

Discharged Monday 13th January.

Thanks to Coast 2 Coast for producing this song & posted on Youtube.com 

To subscribe click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIcPfUqcpNd171avUXZ7Z-A

188. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Well reflecting on 2024, sad to say but it was a relatively shitty year for me. An "Episode" (Please click here for more information) almost every week, more than a month in "Hospital" (Please click here for more information) plus i never managed to finish my volunteer work to complete my PLT (Professional Legal Training) (Please click here for more information) to go with my "Juris Doctor" (Please click here for more information). Hopefully with the new "Medication" (Please click here for more information) & KLC (Kingsford Legal Centre) is Happy to have me return (Please click here for more information on why i had to stop) in January to complete 6 days volunteer work for my PLT then I will be a fully fledged Lawyer (Please click here for more information), So the start of 2025 should be good. 

Happy New Year!

Let 2025 be great?

Fingers crossed the voices i hear allow a good year! 

Positive thinking would be... i get my life back? 

Thanks to Kleerup for posting this song "I just wanna make that sad boy smile" at Youtube.com. 

Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAV2Kx67bReBgucF3ftqSSQ