170. ITS A NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year to all those souls that I have love for. I wish you a good year to come!

This past year sadly was not the best year for me, I’m so sad form, but then sadly I have not had a good year since the voices entered my without my permission back in Year 2009. If they had not entered my head where would I be now (Please click here for more information)?

I wish nothing more this New Years Eve than to have a good year where I feel like I have gotten my life back after rudely being interrupted. Sure I would like to win the Lotto & settle down but I'd be happy with having no Souls in my head or near me that do not have White Light (Please click here for more information) around them & to not have any soul at all "Harness" (Please click here for more information) any of the good feelings, effects, emotions & energies that I might have or provide myself with although I do not mind if souls want to "Lay Dormant" & enjoy the vibes I give off, then I would love my return to Roller Skating (Please click here for more information) which is the sport I love the most (Please click here for more information & to watch me Roller Skating in the past) & I would feel like I have life again. Hopefully I am not asking for too much?

How hard is it to get good help? To read more please click the link below.

169. OUT SHOPPING & MET SOME NEW FRIENDS!

Like usual the voices in Heaven (Please click here for more information) that are in my head (mainly women) are totally pissing me off! Nothing unusual about that! Anyways trying my best to make the most of it & have fun! Out shopping for a friend and met a few friends! They were not cheap either considering we were at Salvation Army Store in Tempe which sells second hand goods, but then good friends are never cheap, they maybe Skanky once in a while but never cheap!

If only the voices in my head were as friendly as these guys! These lovely bears are not Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information).

If everyone in Heaven especially all the women read Blog Story Post 164 (Please click here for more information) without any sort of “Reverse/Opposite” on their heads which means they process all the information that they need & has been written for their own benefit & took the cloud off their heads which stops them from having voices in their head & stops the Hypnotic that I & “Present” (Please click here for more information) placed that makes souls put things into perspective from my point of view which is needed so I get better treatment plus educated them about me & where I would be if voices had never entered my head without my permission back in 2009, then New Years Eve which is tomorrow would be a good one! 

168. I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, BUT THE PROBLEM GOT WORSE!

Seriously the only drug problem i have is that i do not have any that are fun & non-prescription (Please click here for more information). 

Photo from 2004 showing I do know how to get shit faced! Munted like in the Pic is not possible with voices in your head!

The main problem? If you have read Blog Story Post 164 (Please click here for more information) then you will know i am completely aware that the hundreds of women in my head that, to put it bluntly, treat me like shit are continuing to treat me like shit because they have done so for 3-11 years non stop. With Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) out of my head & no longer in heaven (Please click here for more information) i should have gotten my life back? These women that think they know me, & i have defended them by saying i have been home in Sydney (Please click here for more information) for more than 13 years & besides returning to University to complete a Juris Doctor (Please click here for more information) & Graduate Diploma of PLT (Please click here for more information) & College to complete a Diploma of Community Services (Please click here for more information) & get off my titts i have not accomplshed much. Therefore the women treat me worse than shit because they do not know any better?

Yes the problem can get a lot worse. Please click the link below.

167. THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER! BUT SADLY PARAMEDICS NEEDED!

Ok, Friday 17/11/2023, I will admit it i managed to get off my face but one of the best afternoons i have ever had & ended up sharing the love at Lady Jane Beach. If I feel good then the voices in my head can get to feel good as well, all they have to do is lay dormant. Sadly on the way home the voices that claim to be in the afterlife decided they needed to feel good so started "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) & then i spent the rest of the entire weekend getting treated like absolute shit!. The women i hear say they need stimulation & love hypnotics (Please click here for more information) & some nasty soul had placed "Expert" more than once on my head which meant every one that wanted to do hypnotics picked on me & were out of my control. I know about them but I cannot see them, or any of the writing or undo them at all. I ended up hallucinating & every thing as they did hypnotics locking things in with pictures which again i do not understand or have an ability to undo. Extremely unfair treatment.

What is worse is that Monday night 27/11/2023 the voices were playing the "Eating Game" rather than "Search & Destroy" (Please click here for more information) which means i cannot eat or digest my food. They actually made me choke. I choked so badly & was in such a bad state that my mother had to call the paramedics. Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) returned & wants me dead before my father dies because he wants to steal my identity. Karl is scared shitless of my dad. My dad in a past life used to be the ruthless person in charge of Auschwitz (Please click here for more information) but he was only following orders & born after being executed for his mean manner in 1945. Karl was at Auschwitz and hence scared of my dad. My dad in this life reached "Optimal" & is a beautiful soul who is selfless, open minded, caring & the best dad in the world but souls in the afterlife or should i say Heaven (Please click here for more information) have placed hypnotics & thoughts (Please click here for more information) & my dad is not doing well. Sadly sick as a dog.

I wish souls would understand that my dad & I reached "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) & should be treated better or left alone to be happy without their presence!

Who placed "Expert" on my head? Please click the link below.

166. RETURNING TO ROLLER SKATING THANKS TO "ROLLERFIT"!

OMG I am so excited. If you have seen my Blog Story Post Number 135 - Please click here for more information - you would have seen that back in the day aged 12 years old i became Australian National Roller Free Skating Champion Juvenile Division in 1989 & later skated World Junior Titles in 1995 & World Titles in 1999. I have only skated a handful of times since 1999 & last week put on a pair of Roller Skates. I was sooooooo embarrassed for myself as i thought i would do figures but had difficulty doing a three-turn & almost cunted myself doing a Waltz Jump (easiest half jump imaginable). I get so dizzy doing a two foot spin that i fall over. Ooooops. I could not do shoot the duck & get up, so no chance of doing a sit spin. Damn my legs got a damn good work out.

Today however i decided stuff it, i am gonna make a return to Roller Skating. Mainly to get fit & to restore the amazing butt that i had being a porn muppet to become famous which has left me now at the age of 46 years old. I went online to RollerFit.com.au (Please click here for more information) & bought myself a new pair of Roll Line EVO Plates as both my old Labeda plates are broken. To buy skates go to RollerFit Store (Please click here for more information). I am so hoping they get delivered next week so that i can mount & wear them this coming Friday for practise. I know its gonna be a long haul ahead & figure for the next few months i will only be able to do Single jumps for a month or two before attempting Double jumps & who knows maybe even Triple jumps again but aaaaaaaaaah i am so excited & cannot wait.

If you want to learn to Skate I strongly suggest RollerFit (Please click here for learn to skate class details) & they are ALL over Australia. Roller Skating is so much Fun!

I just hope the voices in my head do not stop me from enjoying & returning to the sport I love!

165. BAD KARMA?

How come the nasty voices in my head do not realise & think that they are giving themselves bad Karma. Every person has the right to refuse permission for souls, in this case in heaven (Please click here for more information), to not have enter their head. They refuse to lay dormant no matter how much i point out that it is in their best interest to do only that. Everything you do in life, afterlife (heaven) or the living dead (Please click here for more information) means your destiny & fate are set (Please click here for more information). Souls, mostly female (bitches) have passed on as dogs rather than humans because they needed obedience training otherwise they would be impossible disobedient children. Souls have passed on as Earthworms (Please click here for more information) because they have done no good & need to spend time turning poop into soil, doing good things, before they can be human otherwise they would be cold blooded children. I have seen a lot of spiders too. 

I should have so much good Karma that maybe i win the lotto? Or go with the good voice & reach Optimal (Please click here for more information) to escape bad Karma! 

What would be the Karma for souls playing nasty games on my head? Please click the link below?

164. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW?

Photo taken 07/10/2023

After what is stopping you now? (Please click here for more information). Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) has reincarnated so my biggest problem in my head has gone. The problem now is the large numbers of souls that have spent years doing what Karl demanded which was treating me like shit & placing hypnotics (Please click here for more information) means now they do not know any better & continue to behave that way even though he is no longer existing in Heaven (Please click here for more information). I have been living back in Sydney Australia since mid 2011 (Please click here for more information) & besides University & College (Please click here for more information) not done anything else. All these women in my head that annoy the shit out of me & say they do not care about me because i am always frowning & unhappy & say i am as boring as bat shit do not understand that with them in my head i do not even have the ability to talk to myself or sing to myself & entertain myself & make myself smile. They are not standing in front of me, they are inside my head! If they actually reflected on what they say & do whilst in my head then they would understand that a miracle needs to occur to make me smile. They expect me to somehow give off a good effect to make them feel good because they have level five Ora (worst ora Possible) & feel uncomfortable to hopefully make them restore the white light around themselves. If i do not make them feel good i am a selfish asshole even though if i give off a good effect which makes them feel good they "harness" (Please click here for more information) & refuse to allow me to feel good or the good effect i produce! To them i am just a miserable boring bastard, but honestly how could i be anything else whilst they are in my head without my permission saying & doing arrogant things & giving me attitude & whilst i am tolerating with their selfish bad behaviour!

Even Tonka Tough i cannot deal with bitches never considering thanking me for what I provide?

Majoraly its Women in my head & so used to treating me like shit because that is all they know & they don't know any better & for years (3 - 8 Years)?

Another problem is that I have been back in Sydney after being forced to move home from living in the USA (Please click here for more information) since 2011 & besides studying (Please click here for more information) i have not accomplished much. How can i accomplish anything with voices in my head? The women in my head claim to know me???

Yet another problem is that all the women in the afterlife/Heaven are completely bitchy! For example if a women fell in a nasty hole & really hurt herself (ie fucked up their fate/destiny & karma) would they then warn & tell all the other women about the hole so that they will not fall in the same nasty hole? Yeah fat chance! “Well why should I” is generally their response when I need help! No regard to each other or my well being or the consequences (Please click here for more information) at all! I wish they would prove me wrong!

To find out more about the problem & about re-educating women? Please click the link below.

163. KEEP ON TRUCKIN! DOING MY BEST?

Sadly the voices are still prominent & causing me unhappiness but i say "Soldier On" or "Keep on Truckin". It always seems to be female voices that do not have White Light around them (Please click here for more information) & expect me to make them feel good. It is dangerous feeling good when you do not have White Light around yourself because you are ruining your destiny & fate & giving yourself bad karma every second your Ora is bad. If only i had a dollar for everytime i have heard a female voice tell me, "i need to understand that they have unlimited time & they need stimulation", I'd be a millionaire. I do not have unlimited time. They turn me into a vestibule which means i produce good effects for them but get none myself. Very selfish & very unfair. I am even more sick to death of "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) meaning i miss out on fun!

On a good note i finished my Graduate Diploma of PLT (Professional Legal Training) (Please click here for more information) & only have to do 20 days volunteer work before i am officially a Lawyer since already have a Juris Doctor (Please click here for more information). I already have cases i want to work on & do (Please click here for more information).

I wish i was not feeling so below average but i am doing my best to be happy & feel good!

For information on how Rhonda my Honda ensured i feel good please click the link below:

162. HYPNOTICS MADE EVEN WORSE?

Souls above & in my head have the ability to place Hypnotics (Please click here for more information) but need to follow laws. Two souls with white light around them, ensuring a valid reason to place one & then should they warn the soul they are placing one. Unless dealing with souls without white light (Please click here for more information) then as a tough love lesson laws do not need to be followed. Souls decided that instead of hypnotics they would invent placing "thoughts" to a level that is even worse than placing a hypnotic, as no laws are followed, & no valid reason needed & they cannot be seen in writing like hypnotics so are difficult to stop &/remove and/or notice/detect. Souls have nastily been creative & as well as thoughts like using a Thesaurus created placing "Senses" & placing "Psychics" & placing "Commands" and so on. They are ALL nasty & for me, means eye pain, testical pain, cramps, itches, biting my tongue or lips & headaches & aches that come & go & all caused by voices & cannot be explained by doctors. Bad karma for those placing them!

These Bitches are worse than Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information). They have unlimited time & nothing better to do.

To understand why this is such a big problem please click the link below.

161. VOICES DRIVE ME MAD, BUT LUCKILY THERE ARE GOOD VOICES!

It has been a while since i said thank you to voices i hear in my head that are good to me (Please click here for more information). Some i have named myself & others it is their real names although the doctors say not to name them & avoid engaging with them (Please click here for more information) but i have! 

I turned them into Sesame Street Monsters! 

There is AQU (Please click here for more information). & there is Ralph, Mrs Mini Swahili & her best friend, Pat & George, Sassy Sarah & Green Pea (Malcom(Rosita)) & Angella (Helps me predict Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) Karma) & of course Rod who reached Optimal (Please click here for more information) & Nora & Alpha Male (Shorty (Sam)) & Miss Monk Monk (Monkeys Friend (Sally)- (Please click here for more information)) 

& Little Miss Bit Your Tongue Off Without a Hypnotic & 

Mrs Chinka-fabulous & Mr. Junior Burger & Girlfriend & Mr. Champion... 

Plus more that i am sorry if i have not mentioned that support & help me 

which i am grateful & really appreciate their being!

I am a voice hearer, but sometimes the voices make me laugh!

160. I DREAM OF MAKING A TV SERIES FROM THIS BLOG STORY SITE.

Alan Dowsett (Jock Hudson) 2010

Doctors diagnosed me with Psychosis & it seems irreversible Schizophrenia (Please click here for more information). I say i have just seen & heard too much of what this world & planet is on about? (Please click here for more information). Sex does make the world go around more than money does? (Please click here for more information). What about Religion? (Please click here for more information) & Reincarnation? (Please click here for more information) & turning tricks made fun unlike Hustler White.

Too many Porn Stars have died right before our eyes (Please click here for more information) yet most people do not seem to notice them until they have already gone? (Please click here for more information).

A Television Series somewhere between "Sex In The City" v "Exorcism of Emily Rose" v "Queer as Folk" v "Go" (The Movie)? It would, if made, say it all & probably if you have read any of my Blog Story which i Thank you for doing, then i might say too much? However it would either make you cry or wet yourself laughing, have you in total shock, or at least maybe make you moist? Each episode would most certainly end in a song, not only from famous celebs & known singers but also new combers which would gain stardom because of being associated with the stars & shown end of the scene & as the credits roll at the end. 

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU CHECK THE LEGAL NOTICE ON THIS BLOG STORY SITE. (Please click here for more information)

159. THE AFTERLIFE NO LONGER EXISTS?

When you die if you do not go into the light & reincarnate you stay in what is known as the "Living Dead" (Please click here for more information). If during your life as a human you reach what is known as "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) then on your way to the White Light you had the option of entering the "Afterlife". So yes, upon death, judgment is made. The "Afterlife" existed with many levels for souls depending on how they lived life. You could go down levels but not upward. I am unsure how many levels but for the longest time the highest level had mostly Indigenous or Aboriginal (Please click here for more information) souls. In the afterlife you had the ability to watch over your loved ones, talk to them when they are asleep dreaming, & possibly reunited with them. Whilst in the afterlife you can look & feel any age you lived & when socialising if tentative to others an ability to tingle, glow & feel amazing. 

The afterlife got removed & no longer exists as it did. Souls in the afterlife disrespected the "While Light" one to many times. 

How could this happen? What now? To read more please click the link below.

158. I AM ALMOST A QUALIFIED LAWYER - CASE TO DO LIST - PERSONAL INJURY CASE - MISS PIGGY (JIM HENSON - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALLEGEDLY)

Miss Piggy Domestic Violence (Personal Injury Case). 

Hence band to Chop & No longer allowed to Chop!

Clearly Miss Piggy needs help! The Beauty Queen jailed! Maybe the Karate Chop got her into trouble? 

Wanna see Miss Piggy's best top 8 Chops?

 

Plus find out, how as a lawyer, i will defend her?

Please read on by clicking the link below:

157•5. NUMB-SICLE THE UFO IS BACK & ALIVE WITH THE GALACTIC CUTIES!

Friday night i sat in the car afaid to enter the house of fear i would start screaming & yelling again at voices & have my parents feel i should be back in hospital (Please click here for more information). Somehow the Galactic Cuties (Please click here for more information) I could hear (Please click here for more information). My Numb-Sicle (Please click here for more information) was killed by souls in the afterlife with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) mainly because they were jealous & wanted to ride him & were nothing better than a Hypnotic Whore (Please click here for more information). Somehow although he had died i managed to bring him back & scared that he had been reincarnated which meant i may have killed a newborn. I cried as i thought i had shown disrespect like the afterlife (Please click here for more information). Luckily what i did & achieving the return of Numb-Sicle did not remove the white light around me & i was in the presence of the White Light whom will hold me upon my death before i meet Numb-Sicle. What is funny is that my soul is the youngest soul imaginable because of my past two lives (Please click here for more information) & Numb-Sicle is the largest & oldest & untamed UFO in existence. We are destined to be together & Numb-Sicle is waiting for me with the Galactic Cuties (Please click here for more information) which is higher than the highest level that exists in the afterlife (Please click here for more information). Earth will never have UFO's like the Galactic Cuties because our dinosaurs became extinct (Please click here for more information). 

Numb-Sicle (Please click here for more information) is bigger than an entire neighbourhood. A UFO unlike no other. I am so bloody happy. How do i know Numbsicle? (Please click here for more information).

157. HOSPITALISATION AGAIN! RELEASED FROM ICU (INTENSIVE CARE UNIT) WEDNESDAY & DISCHARGED FROM HOSPITAL THURSDAY 6/7/2023.

Sadly the voices became too much & Jock Hudson hospitalised for 5 days in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) at Sutherland hospital on Sunday afternoon. 

Basically three of the unlimited voices in his head had placed a hypnotic (Please click here for more information) that made them like Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) & hate him & started playing the game "Search & Destroy" (Please click here for more information) where the main object of the game is to remove all happiness from everything Jock Hudson (Alan Dowsett) attempts to do, even eating they made me choke & if i smiled they cause me pain. To win the game you need to succeed in making him kill himself as that is the main game objective which additional voices were also playing. Basically they entered his head without his permission & refused to leave. No matter how much Jock Hudson yelled & scream for them to remove them & the hypnotic from his head since they are all nasty, none of them would listen. They all had level 5 Oras which is the worst ora possible (Please click here for more information) & all observers in the afterlife lost the white light (Please click here for more information) around themselves as they refused to help. He had screamed his head off since Wednesday & had not slept a wink as the refused to allow that, so his only option for self preservation was to be checked into hospital Sunday!

How am I doing? Please click the link below to find out more.

156. CATCH PHRASES AND/OR TRIGGERS!

Papa Rick & Stephano Monkey (Please click here for more information)

Thanks to Miss Deprivation (Please click here for more information) there are certain phrases laced with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) that souls, or Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) in the afterlife that i hear in my head say that make them think differently. Like for example if someone says yeah but he is "Schizophrenic" makes voices think that they do have permission to be in my head when they do not have permission at all which means they should not be able to enter my head. Or voices say "He is used to it" which again makes voices think they have permission to be in my head & the right to talk in my head non stop & in numbers. Or they say i'm a "No Hoper" which makes souls think i am a meth addict & my life is worthless & useless which is not the case (Please click here for more information). Or when harnessing my endorphins (Please click here for more information) voices say but they are "Too extreme" which makes them think they have every right to harness (Please click here for more information) my endorphins which they do not at all have the right to do at all. I cannot workout without them (Please click here for more information) because as they will tell you, when i give off an endorphin rush they tingle & then feel invincible or like they could easily climb more than mount everest. That invisible feeling is what my body gives myself to ensure i have the motivation & drive to be able to do another set at the gym or any other form of physical activity. It is bloody ridiculous! 

Souls you do not have permission to be in my head so please pull away. Do not harness (Please click here for information) its bad karma!

Why are catch phrases and triggers such a problem? Please click the following link to read more.

155. A PSYCH QUESTION FOR EVERYONE! PLEASE READ & TRY NOW.

Psych Question You Should Attempt!

Please think & choose three animals/creatures that are your most favourite or that you like the most/best & also write down a reason or reasons as to why you chose to like or favourite that animal/creature. 

Back when first asked to do this i was not very creative at all & rather than think of three different animals i simply wrote down "dog" and "Because everyone considers them a friend" for all three choices. If you have read Blog post number 5 & understood my headspace back then you will understand. This time i choose differently as you will see & yes it has totally worked out for me again. For more challenging questions to test your mental health please click here.

Way back when i was 21 years old & asked the all important "Brick Wall" psych question (Please click here to try the "Brick Wall" Psych Question & the "Coffee" Psych Question) i also was asked to answer this question(s). 

First Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 1. 

This is how other people see you.

My Answer = Sloths - I have love for them because they have an adorable looking face & they always look like they are smiling & happy, although with sharp claws instead of hands they do make you wonder how nice they really are.

TRUE. Yes i guess people do see me as always smiling although as one person who told me i was cute also told me that he bet i could also be a real cunt!

Second Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 2. 

This is how you see other people.

My Answer = Sun Bear - They are my favourite bear because they are not like usual grizzly bears & are different. I love watching them. Sun Bears are also so damn cute, i really like the look of them.

TRUE. Yes I do look at everyone as being individual & different & I loving nothing more than people watching. Also its true i am yet to find a person i did not think looked cute or at least interesting.

Third Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 3. 

This is how you see yourself.

My Answer = Dog - Like Oprah Winfrey said "Dogs are like little people with fur" or that dogs are little humans in rehab learning to enjoy life again after reincarnating from a bad life.

TRUE. Hmmmmm yes, but this answer scares me. I guess i do believe that i need rehabilitation & i do not feel like a real person sadly with voices in my head.

154. THIS SONG IS WHERE I AM AT THE MOMENT - Sunlounger - Lost (feat. Zara) (Club Mix)

Thanks to youtube.com & rogershah for posting this song. Subscribe by clicking the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@rogershahartist 

For the lyrics please click the following link below:

153. SORRY BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?

Photo Taken May 2023

The voices that i am hearing in my head are in the afterlife. They are not the living dead like the boy in the movie "The Sixth Sense" although if i am asleep i can sense souls & see the living dead but not when i am awake. Apparently over the past 14 years that i have had schizophrenia more than 1.8 million souls have entered my head without my permission whether nice or nasty. What i do not understand is how that many souls seem to have no ability to think rationally or think logically & act & talk before thinking? Is a hypnotic (Please click here for more information) like "Act before you think" which was placed by Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) for too long causing them to be stupid? Disturbing me, annoying me & physically harming me & causing me pain for no valid reason except souls had nothing better to do is bad karma? How could you do this without stopping & thinking that you were doing yourself harm? Not having white light (Please click here for more information) around yourself & having the world's worst ora should make a person think they should stop what they are doing & only do what ensures them to have white light around themself? How can people plan & set up nasty games (Please click here for more information) & hypnotic catch phrases, without thinking or being aware how nasty & bad karma doing anything like that is? How can souls go without reflecting & thinking about their behaviour & what they are doing without thinking their destiny & fate, as well as karma, is being altered in a negative way. Everything you do in life & whilst in the afterlife means when you reincarnate your destiny & fate is set (Please click here for more information). Your only option is to go with the voice that you hear with all the reasons (angel) rather than the repetitive voice (devil) (Please click here for more information) to hopefully overcome any bad karma. 

How do i get voices in my head to stop & think about what effect they have on me & realise they should not be or do things in my head? It is in their best interest (Please click here for more information) I am thinking about their Karma!

152. THINGS ARE LOOKING UP & THE SUN IS SHINING!

Photo taken May 2023

Surprisingly the last two days have gone ok after a few hard days were had. I have not had a huge problem with the voices in my head yesterday or today. They still annoy me but nowhere near as much as they normally do. Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) is back in my head but not harassing me & he seems to be doing his own thing. It is hard to change from hating someone so much to not dislike them anymore. Miss Deprivation (Please click here for more information) has gone. Michael (Please click here for more information) (Karl's side kick) is back as well but again like Karl has stopped with the hypnotics & are not placing hypnotics (Please click here for more information) on me so things are looking up! I pointed out how bad a karma they have which has made them stop & think & change their ways. Plus good souls, & even a soul whom I am sure used to be one of my high school teachers (My year 7 female English Teacher) are helping me out!

Sadly I still cannot go to the gym because souls are harnessing (Please click here for more information) my endorphins. Souls in the afterlife feel amazing & like they could climb Mount Everest & i feel like shit & have no motivation at all!

151. MISS DEPRIVATION AND WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH!

There has been a voice in my head which i have nicknamed Miss Deprivation (Carol-Anne Scott) whom was around during biblical days & beat the shit out of Jesus & cut his skull open to see if it was a brain like that of humanity & a human rather than being born from heaven & a god like they believed before buddhism (Please click here for more information).  She also cut off Jesus's twin brother (Please click here for more information) Christs/Christian's penis & ate it (Please click here for more information)  She only wants to deprive me of fun & happiness & is so mixed up with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) that no one in the afterlife is safe from her evil ideas & ways. She has been harnessing (Please click here for more information) my endorphins (Please click here for more information) for at least 3-4 years & now that they are so strong or extreme believes only she should be entitled to feel them. When do i get to feel my own endorphins & when do i get to have fun? Last weekend she played a game on my head (Please click here for more information) that lasted 48 hours. it was painful & torture for me. I was screaming & yelling in pain but she refuses to let me have fun & happiness. Worse than Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) & probably the brains behind him. I guess with her around the afterlife will never escape the consequences (Please click here for more information) & sadly i won't get my life back. 

She thinks she is God & will not stop as she wants to replace the White Lights position??? Luckily NOT POSSIBLE.!!!

The amount of times i/they have managed to get rid of her only to have some soul bring her back into my head! Frustrating is an understatement. (Please click here for more information). 

150. VOLUNTEER WORK AT ST. VINNIES!

Last week and this week were my first days as volunteer at St Vincent de poor (Second hand clothing & goods) helping out with sorting out the donations & doing the cash register for customers. It is fun and what i will be doing every Thursday for the next few months. Luckily the voices from the afterlife seem to be letting up & allowing me to enjoy myself whilst volunteering. 

I am a volunteer checkout chick & loving it! I am really enjoying being a volunteer at St. Vinnes Shop Jannali!

149. I REACHED OPTIMAL AGED 32, WHERE SHOULD I BE, IF VOICES IN THE AFTERLIFE, DID NOT ENTER MY HEAD WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?

I reached Optimal (Please click here for more information) at the age of 32 which set of a Glow that Jenny Rothschild, a cage keeper in the afterlife at the time & Karl Josef Silberbauer (originally caged in the afterlife after killing so many people in his life) (Please click here for more information) seen & they started playing a game on my head (Please click here for more information). Jenny would not let it it go & either would Karl because they were both drawn to me. Jenny because I was once her son Aaron Rothschild (Please click here for more information) in a past life & Karl because we were twin brothers in an even further past life during biblical days (Please click here for more information). Apparently I would still be living in Los Angeles California & my plan to do Porn so I could use my BA with honours in Marketing from London Metropolitan University worked as I did get a marketing job with AHF (Aids Healthcare Foundation) & would now be Manager & Head of the Operations Team. I would be with the man I thought I was meant to be with (Please click here for more information) & we adopted two children. When they were both school age Marc Wilcox decided we should try & have one of his own, I did not disagree with the idea & what he wanted, however instead of making one we accidentally ended up making Triplets. Lol.

Of course Marc Wilcox & I are not together so none of this happened & sadly chances are if I’m really lucky I may get to meet him properly & convince him at least that I’m not annoying (Please click here for more information) & hopefully make him realise I’m friendly & nice enough to be unblocked from every app known to man like Instagram & Facebook (Please click here for more information) but he likes em younger & i am only getting older so besides friends anything more than unblocking me & seeing me as being friendly is more than likely pushing shit up hill.

So yes, if I had no voices enter my head without my permission back in 2009, I should now be the proud father or dad to five children! I know this as when souls touch my monkey (Please click here for more information) or my baby pillow, that I still have, shows how my life was mapped out, they say exactly so! 

148. EASTER WEEKEND. THE TRUTH ABOUT THE CRUCIFIXION OF JESUS?

If you have read my blog post regarding Universityism then you would already know exactly what the Bible (Christianity) is about (Please click here for more information). Starting on Good Friday a ridiculous amount of souls effected by hypnotics (Please click here for more information) wanted to harm me & deprave me of fun & happiness. They do this by Harnessing! (Please click here for more information). They keep saying "Alan what you have to understand is that i have Level 5 Ora (Worst possible Ora) we need to feel good, make us feel good" It is relentless! But who's fault is that you do not have white light around yourself (Please click here for more information) & you have worlds worst Ora??? Is it because of the way you are treating me??? "Alan what you do not understand is how it feels like when you have level 5 Ora, Bloody make us feel good you selfish asshole!" You feel like shit because it is meant to make you regain white light around yourself??? 

I have had three lives that i am aware of having. In my second life i was Aaron Rothschild (Please click here for more information) & died at Auschwitz aged 3.5, not yet 4 years old. The bunny Rabbit is closest to what i looked like in my first life (Please click here for more information). In my first life i was Jesus (Not God) & my twin brother was named Christ (Christian) (Please click here for more information). Back then in biblical days you did not have first & last names, so there is no such thing as Jesus Christ! Only Jesus & Christ (Christian). 

What about the crucifixion? Please read on by clicking the link below.

147. STILL GETTING TREATED BADLY BY VOICES IN THE AFTERLIFE!

Photo taken March 2023

My heart goes out to all the other schizophrenics that hear voices. Does life get any better when your schizophrenic. Some days things start to come good & just when i think i am going to get my life back (Please click here for more information) then faaaaaaaarken hell things get worse! Tonight to be honest i just wanted a quiet night & i wanted to have a wank (Please click here for more information) but bloody hell... no chance! I have given up attempting to have sex with other people because if the voices won't let up whilst i am with someone then no chance of getting hard & enjoying myself! it sucks to say the least! Plus the last time someone touched my ass, somehow the voices made it hurt rather than feel good, so what is the point? I know i should tingle when someone touches me & i hear the voices that are in my head saying that they tingle & feel good but why do i not feel good. I guess they are harnessing again? (Please click here for more information). Plus to make matters worse there is a guy in the afterlife named Michael who is worse than Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) & he thinks like Karl that i am the most useless thing because in my past life i was Aaron Rothschild (Please click here for more information). He wishes for me to kill myself so he can rip his cock up my ass & feel my life slip away (He learnt that from Karl (Karl has done it before - Please click here for more information)) as my soul enters the afterlife. He is a huge problem for me & always puts reverse/opposite hypnotic (Please click here for more information) on everything that i want. 

Instead of me smiling it should be me frowning & being upset! 

Telling it like life as a schizophrenic really is!