171. A LATE BIRTHDAY WISH?

Wonderful friends, Tara, Kieren, Me, Andrew, Lennie & Robbie

19th January 2024 was my 47th Birthday & to celebrate i had dinner with friends at Tropicana (Please see Photo). Sadly even on my birthday the number of women in my head with the world's worst oras & without "White Light" (Please click here for more information) around them treating me like shit that even on my birthday i did not have the best day. I managed to get my hands on some Pot, yes marijuana, & it was not until this week when i smoked it that it had an amazing effect or i do believe someone that i hold all the love in the world for ("Present" (Please click here for more information)) took affirmative action. Karl Josef Silberbauer & Jenny Rothschild that took turns in making my life misery passed on/reincarnated & around 500 women that had spent at least 3 years doing nothing but "Harness" (Please click here for more information) & treat me like shit. Why? Because i have always been treated like shit so they had no self control to stop. They all passed on/reincarnated. OMG HAAAALEYYYYAAA! HOW FANTASTIC, WHAT I COULD ONLY DREAM OF HAVING DONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. However, the large numbers of women that observed the 500 "Hypnotic Whores" (Please click here for more information) that have now decided to take up from where they left off is doing my head in. 

I cannot handle in my head how many women have decided because of what they seen the other women do (harness & treat me worse than shit for at least 3 years or longer) that they will now do the same???

Sick of hearing in my head that i am an asshole when i do my best not to be one!

170. ITS A NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year to all those souls that I have love for. I wish you a good year to come!

This past year sadly was not the best year for me, I’m so sad form, but then sadly I have not had a good year since the voices entered my without my permission back in Year 2009. If they had not entered my head where would I be now (Please click here for more information)?

I wish nothing more this New Years Eve than to have a good year where I feel like I have gotten my life back after rudely being interrupted. Sure I would like to win the Lotto & settle down but I'd be happy with having no Souls in my head or near me that do not have "White Light" (Please click here for more information) around them & to not have any soul at all "Harness" (Please click here for more information) any of the good feelings, effects, emotions & energies that I might have or provide myself with although I do not mind if souls want to "Lay Dormant" & enjoy the vibes I give off, then I would love my return to Roller Skating (Please click here for more information) which is the sport I love the most (Please click here for more information & to watch me Roller Skating in the past) & I would feel like I have life again. Hopefully I am not asking for too much?

How hard is it to get good help? Please read on.

169. OUT SHOPPING & MET SOME NEW FRIENDS!

Like usual the voices in "Heaven" (Please click here for more information) that are in my head (mainly women) are totally pissing me off! Nothing unusual about that! Anyways trying my best to make the most of it & have fun! Out shopping for a friend & met a few friends! They were not cheap either considering we were at Salvation Army Store in Tempe which sells second hand goods, but then good friends are never cheap, they maybe Skanky once in a while but never cheap!

If only the voices in my head were as friendly as these guys! These lovely bears are not Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information).

If everyone in Heaven especially all the women read Blog Story Post 164 (Please click here for more information) without any sort of “Reverse/Opposite” on their heads which means they process all the information that they need & has been written for their own benefit & took the cloud off their heads which stops them from having voices in their head & stops the "Hypnotic" (Please click here for more information) that I & “Present” (Please click here for more information) placed that makes souls put things into perspective from my point of view which is needed so I get better treatment plus educates them about me & where I would be if voices had never entered my head without my permission back in 2009 (Please click here for more information) then New Years Eve which is tomorrow would be a good one! 

168. DRUG PROBLEM??? NOT POSSIBLE WITH VOICES IN MY HEAD!

2004

Seriously the only drug problem i have is that i do not have any that are fun & non-prescription (Please click here for more information). 

As you can see from photo (2004) i know how to get munted, but getting shit faced is not possible with voices in my head!

Would you believe, I'll be honest regarding the 2004 photo. When i was in New York i had bought Ecstasy tablets & then decided rather than fly to London since it was only May & "University (London Metropolitan University)" (Please click here for more information) did not start until September to fly back to LA since my friend Cameron in photo had just moved to LA to hang out with him. He found two Ecstacy tablets in my sunglasses case that i had forgotten about. 

I told him those bloody things had no effect so i shoved one in his mouth & i took the other one.

As you can see in Photo they did have an effect. I'd had a couple whilst at the Roxy back in New York & did not think pills were any good!

2004 Pride Party West Hollywood, LA.

In regards to those pills I had forgotten what happened back in New York. Last night anywhere you have to go out & party...right??? I ended up out partying & taken to a Sex Club with a guy i met online only to realise that it was already 8am & I being cheap had booked a 9am Shuttle Bus from my Hotel to take me to the airport for my flight to LA. I ran outta club without saying good bye the guy that had taken me there, hurried back to Hotel & packed up with 5 minutes to spare before Shuttle Bus arrived so i called my friend Jonathan & so off my face got on the Bus, still on the phone, & rudely started telling Jonathan what the other people on the bus were like. I am guessing the Bus driving turned music on in the Bus to try & drown out my phone rudess... HOWEVER.. i thought the girl beside me had broke into song, so i gave her a filthy look because i thought she was so on herself & such a wanna be singing idol to dare start sing on a bus. Good thing i didnt tell her to get over herself. I ignored her & looked out window finally finishing my phone call. Then i thought actually now that i listen to her she is actually a very good singing & only when i wondered how did she do the music accompaniment to her singing. 

I realised the girl was not singing out loud but sat where the stereo speaker was on the Bus.

I arrived at New York Airport where the check in lady grabbed me by both arms & pulled me accross her desk to say in my ear "Honey, Honey Honey, where did you come from?" i answered why? She asked me if i had come from South Africa & had been on the "Whacky Weed?" I said no but admitted i really needed Xanex or Valium but did not want to miss my flight. Laughing the lady whom figured i was so wired figured i needed help & said show me where you are going to be sitting & i'll make sure you do not miss your flight.

Clearly i was so off my face that it showed!

Back to the voices being my problem. Please read on.

167. THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER! BUT SADLY PARAMEDICS NEEDED!

17/11/2023 - Lady Jane Beach

Ok, Friday 17/11/2023, I will admit it i managed to get off my face & ended up having one of the best afternoons i have ever had & headed to Lady Jane Beach. If I feel good then the voices in my head can get to feel good as well, all they have to do is lay dormant. Sadly on the way home from Lady jane Beach the voices that claim to be in the afterlife decided they needed to feel good so started "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) & then i spent the rest of the entire weekend getting treated like absolute shit!. The women i hear say they need stimulation & love "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) & some nasty soul had placed "Expert" more than once on my head which meant every one that wanted to do hypnotics picked on me & were out of my control. I know about them but I cannot see them, or any of the writing or undo them at all. I ended up hallucinating & every thing as they did hypnotics locking things in with pictures which again i do not understand or have an ability to undo. Extremely unfair treatment.

What is worse is that Monday night 27/11/2023 the voices were playing the "Eating Game" (Please click here for more information) rather than "Search & Destroy" (Please click here for more information) which means i cannot eat or digest my food. They made me choke so badly & in such a bad state my mother called the paramedics. 

Karl Josef Silberbauer (Please click here for more information) returned & wants me dead before my father dies because he wants to steal my identity. Karl is scared shitless of my dad. My dad, in his last past life, used to be the ruthless person in charge of Auschwitz (Please click here for more information) but he was only following orders & executed & reincarnated 1945. Karl was at Auschwitz and hence scared of my dad. My dad in this life reached "Optimal" & is a beautiful soul who is selfless, open minded, caring & the best dad in the world! 

I wish souls would understand that my dad & I reached "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) & should be treated better or left alone to be happy without their presence!

Who placed "Expert" on my head & fucked me? Please read on.

166. RETURNING TO ROLLER SKATING THANKS TO "ROLLERFIT"!

OMG I am so excited. If you have seen my Blog Story Post Number 135 - Please click here for more information - you would have seen that back in the day aged 12 years old i became Australian National Roller Free Skating Champion Juvenile Division in 1989 & later skated World Junior Titles in 1995 & World Titles in 1999. I have only skated a handful of times since 1999 & last week put on a pair of Roller Skates. I was sooooooo embarrassed for myself as i thought i would do figures but had difficulty doing a three-turn & almost cunted myself doing a Waltz Jump (easiest half jump imaginable). I get so dizzy doing a two foot spin that i fall over. Ooooops. I could not do shoot the duck & get up, so no chance of doing a sit spin. Damn my legs got a damn good work out.

Today however i decided stuff it, i am gonna make a return to Roller Skating. Mainly to get fit & to restore the amazing butt that i had being a porn muppet to become famous which has left me now at the age of 46 years old. I went online to RollerFit.com.au (Please click here for more information) & bought myself a new pair of Roll Line EVO Plates as both my old Labeda plates are broken. To buy skates go to RollerFit Store (Please click here for more information). I am so hoping they get delivered next week so that i can mount & wear them this coming Friday for practise. I know its gonna be a long haul ahead & figure for the next few months i will only be able to do Single jumps for a month or two before attempting Double jumps & who knows maybe even Triple jumps again but aaaaaaaaaah i am so excited & cannot wait.

If you want to learn to Skate I strongly suggest RollerFit (Please click here for learn to skate class details) & they are ALL over Australia. Roller Skating is so much Fun!

I just hope the voices in my head do not stop me from enjoying & returning to the sport I love!

165. BAD KARMA?

How come the nasty voices in my head do not realise they are giving themselves bad Karma. Every person has the right to refuse permission for souls, in this case in "Heaven" (Please click here for more information), to not have enter their head. They refuse to lay dormant no matter how much i point out that it is in their best interest to do only that. Everything you do in life, afterlife (heaven) or the "Living Dead" (Please click here for more information) means your destiny & fate are set (Please click here for more information). Souls, mostly female (bitches) have passed on as dogs rather than humans because they needed obedience training otherwise they would be impossible disobedient children. Souls have passed on as "Earthworms" (Please click here for more information) because they have done no good & need to spend time turning poop into soil, doing good things, before they can be human otherwise they would be cold blooded children. I have seen spiders too. 

I should have good Karma that i win the Lotto? 

Or go with the good voice & reach "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) to escape Karma! 

What would be the Karma for souls playing nasty games on my head? Please read on.

164. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW? WILL BEING TONKA TOUGH HELP?

After what is "Stopping You Now?" (Please click here for more information). "Karl Josef Silberbauer" (Please click here for more information) has reincarnated so my biggest problem in my head has gone. The problem now is the large numbers of souls that have spent years doing what Karl demanded which was treating me like shit & placing "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) means now they do not know any better & continue to behave that way even though he is no longer existing in "Heaven" (Please click here for more information). I have been living back in Sydney Australia since mid 2011 (Please click here for more information) & besides "University & College" (Please click here for more information) not done anything else. All these women in my head that annoy the shit out of me & say they do not care about me because i am always frowning & unhappy & say i am as boring as bat shit do not understand that with them in my head i do not even have the ability to talk to myself or sing to myself & entertain myself & make myself smile. They are not standing in front of me, they are inside my head! If they actually reflected on what they say & do whilst in my head then they would understand that a miracle needs to occur to make me smile. They expect me to somehow give off a good effect to make them feel good because they have level five Ora (worst ora Possible) & feel uncomfortable to hopefully make them restore the white light around themselves. If i do not make them feel good i am a selfish asshole even though if i give off a good effect which makes them feel good they "Harness" (Please click here for more information) & refuse to allow me to feel good or the good effect i produce! To them i am just a Cash Cow that THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT! And now even worse "Automated Harnessing"!

Even Tonka Tough i cannot deal with Whores (Please click here for more information) who never thank me for what I provide?

Majoraly its Women in my head & so used to treating me like shit because that is all they know & they don't know any better & for years (3 - 8 Years)?

For more information regarding the problem. Please read on

163. KEEP ON TRUCKIN! DOING MY BEST?

Sadly the voices are still prominent & causing me unhappiness but i say "Soldier On" or "Keep on Truckin". It always seems to be female voices that do not have "White Light Around Them" (Please click here for more information) & expect me to make them feel good. It is dangerous feeling good when you do not have White Light around yourself because you are ruining your destiny & fate & giving yourself bad karma every second your Ora is bad. If only i had a dollar for everytime i have heard a female voice tell me, "i need to understand that they have unlimited time & they need stimulation", I'd be a millionaire. I do not have unlimited time. They turn me into a vestibule which means i produce good effects for them but get none myself. Very selfish & very unfair. I am even more sick to death of "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) meaning i miss out on fun!

On a good note i finished my "Graduate Diploma of PLT (Professional Legal Training)" (Please click here for more information) & only have to do 20 days volunteer work before i am officially a Lawyer since already have a "Juris Doctor" (Please click here for more information). I already have cases "I Want to Work On & Do" (Please click here for more information).

I wish i was not feeling so below average but i am doing my best to be happy & feel good!

How has Rhonda my Honda (Car/Vehicle) ensured i feel good? Please read on.

162. HYPNOTICS MADE EVEN WORSE?

Souls above & in my head have the ability to place "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) but need to follow laws. Two souls with white light around them, ensuring a valid reason to place one & then should they warn the soul they are placing one. Unless dealing with souls without "White Light" (Please click here for more information) then as a tough love lesson laws do not need to be followed. Souls decided that instead of hypnotics they would invent placing "thoughts" to a level that is even worse than placing a hypnotic, as no laws are followed, & no valid reason needed & they cannot be seen in writing like hypnotics so are difficult to stop &/remove and/or notice/detect. Souls have nastily been creative & as well as thoughts like using a Thesaurus created placing "Senses" & placing "Psychics" & placing "Commands" and so on. They are ALL nasty & for me, means eye pain, testical pain, cramps, itches, biting my tongue or lips & headaches & aches that come & go & all caused by voices & cannot be explained by doctors. Bad karma for those placing them!

These Bitches are worse than Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information). They have unlimited time & nothing better to do.

Want to understand why this is such a big problem? Please read on.

161. VOICES DRIVE ME MAD, BUT LUCKILY THERE ARE GOOD VOICES!

It has been a while since i said thank you to voices i hear in my head that are good to me (Please click here for more information). Some i have named myself & others it is their real names although the doctors say not to name them & avoid engaging with them (Please click here for more information) but i have! 

I should avoid engaging with voices but instead I turned them into Sesame Street Monsters! 

There is AQU (Please click here for more information). (Below 3rd from left = Aqua with Orange nose & eyes) & there is Ralph, Mrs Mini Swahili & her best friend, Pat & George (Green Elmo), Sassy Sarah & Green Pea (Malcom(Rosita)) & Angella (Helps me predict Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) Karma) & of course Rod who reached Optimal (Please click here for more information) & Nora & Alpha Male (Shorty (Sam)) & Miss Monk Monk (Monkeys Friend (Sally) (Please click here for more information)) & Little Miss Bit Your Tongue Off Without a Hypnotic & Mrs Chinka-fabulous & Mr. Junior Burger & Girlfriend & Mr. Champion & Jones.

Plus more that i am sorry if i have not mentioned that support & help me which i am grateful & really appreciate their being!

I am a voice hearer, but sometimes voices help & make me laugh!

160. MAKING A TV SERIES FROM THIS BLOG STORY SITE.

Alan Dowsett (Jock Hudson) 2010

Doctors diagnosed me with Psychosis & it seems irreversible Schizophrenia (Please click here for more information). I say i have just seen & heard too much of what this world & planet is on about? (Please click here for more information). Sex does make the world go around more than money does? (Please click here for more information). What about Religion? (Please click here for more information) & Reincarnation? (Please click here for more information) & turning tricks made fun unlike Hustler White.

Too many Porn Stars have died right before our eyes (Please click here for more information) yet most people do not seem to notice them until they have already gone? (Please click here for more information).Yet they bared it all?

A Television Series somewhere between "Sex In The City" v "Exorcism of Emily Rose" v "Queer as Folk" v "Go" (The Movie)? It would, if made, say it all & probably if you have read any of my Blog Story which i Thank you for doing, then i might say too much? However it would either make you cry or wet yourself laughing, have you in total shock, or at least maybe make you moist? Each episode would most certainly end in a song, not only from famous celebs & known singers but also new combers which would gain stardom because of being associated with the stars & shown end of the scene & as the credits roll at the end. 

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU CHECK THE LEGAL NOTICE ON THIS BLOG STORY SITE. (Please click here for more information)

159. THE AFTERLIFE NO LONGER EXISTS?

When you die if you do not go into the light & reincarnate you stay in what is known as the "Living Dead" (Please click here for more information). If during your life as a human you reach what is known as "Optimal" (Please click here for more information) then on your way to the White Light you had the option of entering the "Afterlife". So yes, upon death, judgment is made. The "Afterlife" existed with many levels for souls depending on how they lived life. You could go down levels but not upward. I am unsure how many levels but for the longest time the highest level had mostly "Indigenous or Aboriginal" (Please click here for more information) souls. In the afterlife you had the ability to watch over your loved ones, talk to them when they are asleep dreaming, & possibly reunited with them. Whilst in the afterlife you can look & feel any age you lived & when socialising if tentative to others an ability to tingle, glow & feel amazing. 

The afterlife got removed & no longer exists as it did. Souls in the afterlife disrespected the "While Light" one to many times. 

How could this happen? What now? Please read on.

158. I AM ALMOST A QUALIFIED LAWYER - CASE TO DO LIST - PERSONAL INJURY CASE - MISS PIGGY (JIM HENSON - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ALLEGEDLY)

Miss Piggy Domestic Violence (Personal Injury Case). 

Hence ban from Chopping & No longer allowed to Chop!

Clearly Miss Piggy needs help! The Beauty Queen jailed! Maybe the Karate Chop got her into trouble? 

Wanna see Miss Piggy's best top 8 Chops?

 

Plus find out, how as a lawyer, i will defend Miss Piggy?

Please read on.

157•5. NUMB-SICLE THE UFO IS BACK & ALIVE WITH THE GALACTIC CUTIES!

Friday night i sat in the car afaid to enter the house of fear i would start screaming & yelling again at voices & have my parents feel i should be back in hospital (Please click here for more information). Somehow the Galactic Cuties (Please click here for more information) I could hear (Please click here for more information). My Numb-Sicle (Please click here for more information) was killed by souls in the afterlife with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) mainly because they were jealous & wanted to ride him & were nothing better than a Hypnotic Whore (Please click here for more information). Somehow although he had died i managed to bring him back & scared that he had been reincarnated which meant i may have killed a newborn. I cried as i thought i had shown disrespect like the afterlife (Please click here for more information). Luckily what i did & achieving the return of Numb-Sicle did not remove the white light around me & i was in the presence of the White Light whom will hold me upon my death before i meet Numb-Sicle. What is funny is that my soul is the youngest soul imaginable because of my past two lives (Please click here for more information) & Numb-Sicle is the largest & oldest & untamed UFO in existence. We are destined to be together & Numb-Sicle is waiting for me with the Galactic Cuties (Please click here for more information) which is higher than the highest level that exists in the afterlife (Please click here for more information). Earth will never have UFO's like the Galactic Cuties because our dinosaurs became extinct (Please click here for more information). 

Numb-Sicle (Please click here for more information) is bigger than an entire neighbourhood. A UFO unlike no other. I am so bloody happy. How do i know Numbsicle? (Please click here for more information).

157. HOSPITALISATION AGAIN! RELEASED FROM ICU (INTENSIVE CARE UNIT) WEDNESDAY & DISCHARGED FROM HOSPITAL THURSDAY 6/7/2023.

Sadly the voices became too much & Jock Hudson hospitalised for 5 days in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) at Sutherland hospital on Sunday afternoon. 

Basically three of the unlimited voices in his head had placed a hypnotic (Please click here for more information) that made them like Hypnotic Whores (Please click here for more information) & hate him & started playing the game "Search & Destroy" (Please click here for more information) where the main object of the game is to remove all happiness from everything Jock Hudson (Alan Dowsett) attempts to do, even eating they made me choke & if i smiled they cause me pain. To win the game you need to succeed in making him kill himself as that is the main game objective which additional voices were also playing. Basically they entered his head without his permission & refused to leave. No matter how much Jock Hudson yelled & scream for them to remove them & the hypnotic from his head since they are all nasty, none of them would listen. They all had level 5 Oras which is the worst ora possible (Please click here for more information) & all observers in the afterlife lost the white light (Please click here for more information) around themselves as they refused to help. He had screamed his head off since Wednesday & had not slept a wink as they refused to allow that, so his only option for self preservation was to be checked into hospital Sunday!

How am I doing? Please read on.

156. CATCH PHRASES AND/OR TRIGGERS!

Papa Rick & Stephano (Please click here for more information)

Thanks to "Miss Deprivation" (Please click here for more information) there are certain phrases laced with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) that souls, or "Hypnotic Whores" (Please click here for more information) in the afterlife that i hear in my head say that make them think differently. Like for example if someone says yeah but he is "Schizophrenic" makes voices think that they do have permission to be in my head when they do not have permission at all which means they should not be able to enter my head. Or voices say "He is used to it" which again makes voices think they have permission to be in my head & the right to talk in my head non stop & in numbers. Or they say i'm a "No Hoper" which makes souls think i am a meth addict & my life is worthless & useless which is not the case (Please click here for more information). Or when harnessing my endorphins (Please click here for more information) voices say but they are "Too extreme" which makes them think they have every right to harness (Please click here for more information) my endorphins which they do not at all have the right to do at all. I cannot workout without them (Please click here for more information) because as they will tell you, when i give off an endorphin rush they tingle & then feel invincible or like they could easily climb more than mount everest. That invisible feeling is what my body gives myself to ensure i have the motivation & drive to be able to do another set at the gym or any other form of physical activity. It is bloody ridiculous! 

Souls you do not have permission to be in my head so please pull away. Do not harness (Please click here for information) its bad karma!

Why are catch phrases & a trigger such a problem? Please read on.

155. A PSYCH QUESTION FOR EVERYONE! PLEASE READ & TRY NOW.

Psych Question You Should Attempt!

Please think & choose three animals/creatures that are your most favourite or that you like the most/best & also write down a reason or reasons as to why you chose to like or favourite that animal/creature. 

Back when first asked to do this i was not very creative at all & rather than think of three different animals i simply wrote down "dog" and "Because everyone considers them a friend" for all three choices. If you have read Blog post number 5 & understood my headspace back then you will understand. This time i choose differently as you will see & yes it has totally worked out for me again. For more challenging questions to test your mental health please click here.

Way back when i was 21 years old & asked the all important "Brick Wall" psych question (Please click here to try the "Brick Wall" Psych Question & the "Coffee" Psych Question) i also was asked to answer this question(s). 

First Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 1. 

This is how other people see you.

My Answer = Sloths - I have love for them because they have an adorable looking face & they always look like they are smiling & happy, although with sharp claws instead of hands they do make you wonder how nice they really are. Also Sloths are defenseless against most predators & seen as submissive rather than dominant creatures.

TRUE. Yes i guess people do see me as always smiling although as one person who told me i was cute also told me that he bet i could also be a real cunt! The voices in my head know that i am defenseless against them.

Second Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 2. 

This is how you see other people.

My Answer = Sun Bear - They are my favourite bear because they are not like usual grizzly bears & are different. I love watching them. Sun Bears are also so damn cute, i really like the look of them.

TRUE. Yes I do look at everyone as being individual & different & I loving nothing more than people watching. Also its true i am yet to find a person i did not think looked cute or at least interesting.

Third Animal/Creature Choice - Answer 3. 

This is how you see yourself.

My Answer = Dog - Like Oprah Winfrey said "Dogs are like little people with fur" or that dogs are little humans in rehab learning to enjoy life again after reincarnating from a bad life.

TRUE. Hmmmmm yes, but this answer scares me. I guess i do believe that i need rehabilitation & i do not feel like a real person sadly with voices in my head.

154. THIS SONG IS WHERE I AM AT THE MOMENT - Sunlounger - Lost (feat. Zara) (Club Mix)

Thanks to youtube.com & rogershah for posting this song. Subscribe by clicking the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@rogershahartist 

For the lyrics please click the following link below:

153. SORRY BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND?

Photo Taken May 2023

The voices that i am hearing in my head are in the afterlife. They are not the living dead like the boy in the movie "The Sixth Sense" although if i am asleep i can sense souls & see the living dead but not when i am awake. Apparently over the past 14 years that i have had schizophrenia more than 1.8 million souls have entered my head without my permission whether nice or nasty. What i do not understand is how that many souls seem to have no ability to think rationally or think logically & act & talk before thinking? Is a "Hypnotic" (Please click here for more information) like "Act before you think" which was placed by "Karl Josef Silberbauer" (Please click here for more information) for too long causing them to be stupid? Disturbing me, annoying me & physically harming me & causing me pain for no valid reason except souls had nothing better to do is bad karma? How could you do this without stopping & thinking that you were doing yourself harm? Not having "White Light" (Please click here for more information) around yourself & having the world's worst ora should make a person think they should stop what they are doing & only do what ensures them to have white light around themself? How can people plan & set up "Nasty Games" (Please click here for more information) & hypnotic catch phrases (Please click here for more information), without thinking or being aware how nasty & bad karma doing anything like that is? How can souls go without reflecting & thinking about their behaviour & what they are doing without thinking their destiny & fate, as well as karma, is being altered in a negative way. Everything you do in life & whilst in the afterlife means when you reincarnate your destiny & fate is set (Please click here for more information). Your only option is to go with the voice that you hear with all the reasons (angel) rather than the repetitive voice (devil) (Please click here for more information) to hopefully overcome any bad karma. 

How do i get voices in my head to stop & realise they should not be or do things in my head? The do not realise the effect of what they are doing to me & themselves? It is in their best interest (Please click here for more information)

I am thinking about their Karma

Thanks to Infernal for singing this song - Self Control. To subscribe to Albert Garcia Angrill for posting on Youtube.com To subscribe click the following link: https://www.youtube.com/@Titttoh

152. THINGS ARE LOOKING UP & THE SUN IS SHINING!

Photo taken May 2023

Surprisingly the last two days have gone ok after a few hard days were had. I have not had a huge problem with the voices in my head yesterday or today. They still annoy me but nowhere near as much as they normally do. "Karl Josef Silberbauer" (Please click here for more information) is back in my head but not harassing me & he seems to be doing his own thing. It is hard to change from hating someone so much to not dislike them anymore. "Miss Deprivation" (Please click here for more information) has gone. "Michael" (Please click here for more information) (Karl's side kick) is back as well but again like Karl has stopped with the hypnotics & are not placing "Hypnotics" (Please click here for more information) on me so things are looking up! I pointed out how bad a karma they have which has made them stop & think & change their ways. Plus good souls, & even a soul whom I am sure used to be one of my high school teachers (My year 7 female English Teacher) are helping me out!

Sadly I still cannot go to the gym because souls are harnessing (Please click here for more information) my endorphins. Souls in the afterlife feel amazing & like they could climb Mount Everest & i feel like shit & have no motivation at all!

What is the point of Souls in Heaven (Please click here for more information) feeling like they could climb Mount Everest  a thousand times when they are not the one at the gym needing to push out another set til failure. Remember you need to destroy the muscle to have it rebuild bigger! The Souls in Heaven just do not get it (Please click here for more information)! Clearly they have never worked out at a gym? Plus not allowing me the feeling which if they laid dormant could feel as well, unaware of the good vibe that would come from me each time i succeeded in working out! Grrrrrrrrrr. Damn it... I wanna get back in shape.

151. MISS DEPRIVATION & WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH!

There has been a voice in my head which i have nicknamed Miss Deprivation (Carol-Anne Scott) whom was around during biblical days & beat the shit out of Jesus & cut his skull open to see if it was a brain like that of humanity & a human rather than being born from heaven & a god like they believed before "Buddhism" (Please click here for more information).  "She also cut off Jesus's twin brother" (Please click here for more information) Christs/Christian's penis & ate it (Please click here for more information)  She only wants to deprive me of fun & happiness & is so mixed up with hypnotics (Please click here for more information) that no one in the afterlife is safe from her evil ideas & ways. She has been "Harnessing" (Please click here for more information) my endorphins (Please click here for more information) for at least 3-4 years & now that they are so strong or extreme believes only she should be entitled to feel them. When do i get to feel my own endorphins & when do i get to have fun? Last weekend she played a game on my head (Please click here for more information) that lasted 48 hours. it was painful & torture for me. I was screaming & yelling in pain but she refuses to let me have fun & happiness. Worse than "Karl Josef Silberbauer" (Please click here for more information) & probably the brains behind him. I guess with her around the afterlife will never escape the "Consequences" (Please click here for more information) & sadly i won't get my life back.

She thinks she is God & will not stop attempting to replace the "White Lights" position??? Luckily NOT POSSIBLE!!! The fact she does not have White Light means that if she did obtain the "White Lights" power, & in doing so ensures a bad ora, the powers are useless. 

To get rid of her only to have some soul bring her back into my head. Frustrating is an understatement. (Please click here for more information). 

The vulgarity of thinking she can do what the "White Light" does? Waste of time!

Why else is this a major problem? Please read on.